My mom died four years ago. No day has been the same since her
departure, but Mother's Day is particularly challenging. I'll be frank: losing any mom is hard. Watching a great mom wither away in front of
your eyes is the worst. My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in
her late 40s and died two years later. While I miss her daily, I
appreciate the lessons she taught me about a mother's love...
I'm definitely a modern-day gal. I love to speak my mind, handle my own money and I take great pride in my wit. Each day I'm thankful for the foremothers who were insightful and purpose-driven enough to conquer grounds that are not even on the radar for many of today's women (think everything from our ability to work in any field to wearing denim). I appreciate our grandmothers' crusade to offer us opportunities they could only journal about. These women struggled, prayed and endured so we could have something they lacked: options...
I'm going to put it out there: I am jealous of White women. Actually,
not just the White ones, Asians and Latinos get lumped in there, too.
It's not their hair, complexion or even physiques that morph me into a
green-eyed monster. It's their ability to date, wed and mate. Seems
simple enough, right? But for many Black women, finding a man who's
willing to put a ring on it is more challenging than keeping your hair
whipped while exercising regularly...
Recently I was placed in an awkward yet common predicament for
professional Black women. I had to decide whether I followed my gut, or
my race. I chose the former. Do I regret it? No. Was it hard? Yes. Still, I wonder whether I made the right choice...
Vicki Irvin is used to wearing a cape. For many years the former human
resources executive juggled a career, business, hubby and child - most
important, even when she felt like she was walking on a tight rope, she
never allowed her life to become a circus. Today, the business and
entrepreneurship coach happily shares her formula for "having it all"
with others. "It's important for women not to get caught up with
looking at each other," she advises...
I'm so tired of hearing Black people —especially the men — hate on
Steve Harvey. Do I think the man is perfect? Of course not. Is his
curtness slightly offensive? Occasionally. Does he fill a huge
emotional void in the Black community? No doubt...a bankable one at that.
In case you missed the memo more than 40 percent of African-American
households are headed by single women. This phenomenon didn't start in
the last decade; it's been slowly festering over the last 30 years...
I was homebound for the entire month of January while recovering from a
surgery. Yeah, it sucked to be me. Still, I was fortunate enough to
have great family and friends available to "nurture the infirmed." So
what did I do to pass the time? I'd love to say read, but since I was
frequently writhing in dull pain, movies were much easier to focus on.
During one triple-feature marathon in "Casa de Brown," my girlfriend
sold me on watching "The Other Boleyn Girl." Only one word can describe
the experience: heartbreaking...
First let me say this: I am single. However, just like you don't have
to smoke crack to tell "rockheads" don't do it... well, you get the
rest. Second, I'm an avid, calendar-clearing, repeat-watching
fan of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta." You know the type. I text my
girls during the commercials. I feel like I know the "ins and outs" of
the cast intimately. And, occasionally I pass judgment on their
I made it.
I had my fibroids removed and I'm in week two of the healing process.
For someone who has never been hospitalized and loves being on the
move, the process of having such a big surgery was numbing. As I lay
out in bed, trying not to move, I thought over and over again about how
I would share this experience with everyone. So here it goes...
Last Tuesday marked the second time in my life that I've been an inpatient at a
hospital — the first time was my birth. My return isn't due to a blessed event. Instead, I'm going in — and under — to get
tumors cut out of my gut. Sound vulgar? Off-putting? Well, that's how I
Here's what you had to say:Censtra commented via Facebook: "Thanks for posting this ESSENCE, the ladies' comments are making me feel a little better..."Kamica wrote via Facebook: "My fibroid caused so many bleeding problems, I had a hysterectomy in December 2010..."
I'm going to put myself out there. I make New Year's resolutions almost every year — and I rarely keep them. If I had, I'd be in fabulous shape, a great cook, faithfully dedicating five hours per week to volunteer service, never in any consumer debt, earning $1.5 million annually, going out twice a week to find Mr. Right... you get my point. When it comes to making New Year's resolutions, I've done it all...
I've never been a fan of awards shows. They're long, usually rather
dull -- unless someone shows up under the influence -- and rarely feature
anyone who looks like me. With the Screen Actors Guild Awards
nominations announced this morning, the 2011 awards season has
officially kicked off. As usual, the nominees are a sea of White faces...
I'm a girl's girl -- you know, group hugs, late night calls and "ladies
only" trips. As a result, I have several very close female friends.
We've matriculated through school together. Helped heal each other's
wounds after heartache, death and loss. We've celebrated life's
successes, such as new loves, degrees and homes. Having several
"besties" morphed my life from Pinot Grigio, tart but satisfying, to
Moscato, tasty, rich and always sweet. I have different friends who
complement every facet of who I am, and vice versa. It's also been a
blessing to have various partners to go through life's cycles with,
which is what's been happening... until recently...
I am not a fan of cooking... and I blame it on trauma. See, I grew up in one of those old-fashioned households with a
grandmother who believed that all women should know how to cook -- and
you "learn 'em" young. So when I was 8 years old, my life dramatically
changed. My after-school ritual of snack time, one hour of television
and then homework time was truncated to a quick cookie, about 15
minutes of TV... then an hour or so of cooking and serving all of the
men who resided on the lower two levels of our three-family house...
Howard University alum Lance Gross was one of the many Hollywood actors, producers and executives who made a pit stop in Washington, DC to attend the HBCU's 2010 Homecoming -- and their goal wasn't to party. May Sister Entertainment (with sponsors DreamWorks and NBC Universal) hosted the first annual HOWARDwood panel. From famous faced alums to behind-the-scenes gems, check out who stopped by to educate the next generation of moguls on how to rock Tinseltown.
I didn't start thinking about marriage -- at least seriously -- until my late 20s. Yes, I always had Cosby aspirations (husband, kids and brownstone = happiness), but all that bliss costs big bucks, right? As a brown girl from a very working class family, I knew education would
be my only way up the ladder. Today, like many women, I have the degrees, the car, the home... and I'm single...
Here's what you had to say:
Tara commented via Facebook: "I've been married and I've been single. The grass is never greener on either side."Tanisha wrote via Facebook: I enjoy being married. I am not overworked, but I do have a lot on my plate."
I am used to losing the people I love most. When I was in the sixth grade, my grandmother died from a cancer-like
disease. In less than a year she went from being the stern yet
vibrant and nurturing matriarch of our family to a bedridden invalid
trying to ward off death. Everyone in our family was devastated after
her passing. For days, I secretly chided my mom, uncles, grandfather and
other relatives for their sorrow. Didn't they know that my grandmother,
Josephine Forde, the pint-sized dynamo who evoked respect from local
thugs, organized block parties and trips, and made sure I got the best
from Sears could not be gone? The doctors made a mistake... Here's what you had to say:
Adrienne commented via Facebook: "One word...Prayer."
Patrice wrote via Facebook: "It's not easy as it sounds, but prayer does help."
I know most people -- especially those who live in cities where square footage is a hot commodity -- crave more personal space. I'm just the opposite. I've always loved communal living. I grew up in a multi-unit home occupied by my mother's nuclear family. Was there drama? Yes. Were people too nosy? Yep. Did I love it? You bet...
Here's what you had to say:
Cass commented: I'm all for solo living just as long as loved ones are nearby.
Sing wrote: I live alone and, though sometimes I get lonely, there is nothing like having my own full space.
The "Job Jail Lady" Audrey LeGrand shares four tips that will help you break free from the shackles of professional apathy...
Here's what you had to say:
Tia commented via Facebook: "I love Ms. LeGrand's book. I had an opportunity to hear her speak. She is a phenomenal woman."
Christy wrote via Facebook: "I created my own job [when] I couldn't find one.