We’re knee deep in cuffing season, and those who didn’t secure a romantic prospect to snuggle with during the colder months may be contemplating “spinning the block.” For those who aren’t familiar with what that means, think Ashanti and Nelly rekindling their love, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck finding their way back to each other 15 years (and a marriage and kids with other people) later, and Reginae Carter and Armon Warren going from a public breakup to recently kissing in the snow.
While spinning the block isn’t always a bad idea, sometimes it’s a terrible one. An example of a recent and questionable return to one’s ex is Tamar Braxton going back to her former fiancé Jeremey Robinson. After meeting on a reality show and getting engaged in March this year, they called it quits in October. During the time of the breakup, Robinson released a statement alluding to things being somewhat negative within his relationship with the singer and reality star and making sure to let everyone know he ended things.
“Yes, Tamar and I are no longer together. I ended the relationship to focus on getting back to positive energy & being a better person,” he wrote on Instagram at the time.
Messy.
Well, a lot went down after this post, which includes the Atlanta-based lawyer taking Tommie Lee, another reality star who is at odds with Braxton for reasons unknown (she did make some comments when Braxton’s team had some controversy with Chrisean Rock, but it seems their issues go further back than that) to an NBA game. Lee ended up plastering their time together on social media to get under Braxton’s skin. Soon after though, Robinson and Braxton were seen at an NFL game and were back together.
But wait, it gets worse. During one of Braxton’s recent shows, she referred to Tommie as a “crackhead,” and made it a point to publicly mark her territory.
“That’s why I had to go get my man back, y’all,” she said to fans on stage. “I know y’all lying if y’all thought I was gon’ let my man go because he took some crackhead to a basketball game while we was broke up? No ma’am. That was no my man. He don’t owe me no loyalty. I could have went out with his homeboy. It’s all fair game when you broke up…That’s a good man, Savannah.”
Anybody who knows Lee knows she loves a good fight so miss mamas came back with all the receipts in a series of Instagram videos. In summary, she claimed that Robinson was in her DMs trying to take her out, that he performed anilingus on her, and worst of all, shared Braxton’s business, talking negatively about her. That includes him allegedly kicking her out of their shared space, requiring her to live with her mom, and claiming that her tour wasn’t sold out as claimed. Robinson did say Braxton was also begging to get back with him and Lee has audio to prove it. The entrepreneur and lawyer later came back and offered a public apology for pillow talking with the enemy and said he’s glad he and Braxton have worked things out.
If we took a poll, my guess is many would say Robinson’s antics are a complete violation and grounds for NOT spinning the block. Clearly Ms. Braxton doesn’t agree because she’s seemingly standing by Robinson, and as you heard her say, he didn’t owe her loyalty when they weren’t together.
This begets the question: When is spinning the block appropriate? When does it make sense to go back to an ex? There isn’t a cookie cutter answer for this because everyone’s values are different in addition to what each person can forgive and move past. But I will say, you shouldn’t be spinning the block if it requires self-betrayal.
And when I say betraying yourself, I mean putting aside your values, non-negotiables and self-worth to love someone else. Yes, love requires sacrifice, but it shouldn’t be self-sacrificing. When we abandon ourselves to love somebody else it’s usually a sign that we need to love ourselves in a deeper way. It also calls for us to look at some of our unhealthy patterns and why we find it hard to stand on 10 toes about our dealbreakers. Usually, the root cause is unhealed trauma but we won’t know unless we unpack it.
I don’t know the intricate details of what has gone on in their relationship, but I already know too much thanks to Robinson and Lee. What it looks like is that the Braxton Family Values star is going back to someone who alluded to her being toxic, has no loyalty, is petty, and has very little respect for her behind closed doors. If you can try to sleep with my enemy and tell them all my business when we’re on bad terms, I don’t care what you do for me when we’re on good terms. But yet again, everyone’s threshold is different.
If these are issues they can iron out on a therapist’s couch, so be it, but my Spidey senses tell me this may not fare well for the “My Man” singer.
I want to see Braxton win in love and I hope she wants that even more for herself. She seems to wear her heart on her sleeve and has big and honest emotions, which I think are admirable qualities. She has been through it over the past few years, going from a public breakup with her ex-husband of nearly nine years, Vincent Herbert, to a nasty breakup with her ex David Adefeso, surviving a suicide attempt and now being in a Tubi love triangle after hoping she was done kissing frogs. We wish the star well, whatever she decides, but it’s important for us all to know that spinning the block on a toxic situation is likely to yield the same results, if not worse.