For some of us, the most peaceful place to be this holiday season isn’t a crowded family dinner or a jam-packed airport. It’s right at home. There are several reasons you may want to opt out of celebrating with family: maybe they live far away, maybe you need a break from the drama, perhaps flights are too expensive and road trips too long, or perhaps, this year, you just want to rest in your own space. All of these are valid reasons to break away from the pack and do the holidays your way.
Telling family that you won’t be joining their festivities during the holidays may be a significant undertaking, but it’s equally a self-loving one. You may choose to explain your absence, depending on your relationship with your loved ones. It’s also ok to choose not to.
If you’ve decided to bite the bullet and spend the holidays solo, here are a few good reasons to do so, and some meaningful ways to make your at-home holidays one to remember.
You Can Create Your Own Traditions
Holiday family traditions can be a way to ground you and help keep cultural values alive. Spending the holidays alone gives you an opportunity to create some of your own. Think about who you are as a person, what you value, and cook up traditions based on what you find. Maybe you value slow mornings, but the ones you spend with family during the holidays tend to be high-energy and chaotic. Curate slow and meditative starts to the day during this season that support a regulated nervous system instead. Maybe giving back is important to you, so you’d like to start a tradition of creating care packages for people in need. Perhaps you’d like to start the day in bed, catching up on much-needed rest.
You can keep the tradition as simple or as extravagant as you want — just make it yours.
You Can Volunteer or Give Back Locally
Sometimes, the quickest way to fill your heart is to pour into someone else’s. Volunteer at a local women’s shelter, donate winter gear, or spend an afternoon visiting elderly people in a nursing home.
If in-person service feels overwhelming, look for online opportunities, such as writing holiday cards for seniors or supporting Black-owned small businesses through digital wishlists. Giving back adds meaning to your day and reminds you of the importance of extending love to your community.
You Can Cook (or Order) What You Want
Food is a significant part of holiday celebrations, and sometimes it’s a point of contention among families. A highlight of spending the holidays at home is that it’s your ship, you’re the captain, and you can decide what holiday dishes you want to indulge in or not consume in this year. Maybe you’re sick of collard greens and mac and cheese and want to try a cuisine from a different culture this time around. Or you want to add a new ingredient to the peach cobbler without causing a ruckus at the dinner table. Consider getting adventurous and trying something out of the norm to make the holidays yours. It’s also perfectly fine to stick to family recipes if it brings you comfort.
The beauty of being solo is total culinary freedom. No negotiating the menu or defending your food choices. Ordering takeaway or getting a catering service is also an option if the thought of cooking stresses you out.
Don’t forget to set the table for yourself, light a candle, and plate your food because you deserve all the bells and whistles, too. Or, you can just eat on the sofa and chill.
You Can Engage in Creative Projects
If you’re the type of person who enjoys arts and crafts, incorporate that into your solo holiday celebrations. You can spend time crafting your own decorations, be it centerpieces for the table or ornaments for your tree.
Another project that is sentimental but not so arts-and-crafts-focused is bringing back the lost art of physical family photo albums. Print some of your favorite moments with loved ones and pop them in an album, creating something tangible to remind you of how rich you are in love.
The time you get back from staying at home during the holidays can also be spent on simple pleasures, like a hobby: hiking, testing out new recipes, playing an instrument, writing poetry, and more.
You Can Do a Holiday Movie Marathon
Holiday movies often trigger nostalgic feelings that produce cheer. Make a list of your favorite movies and tick them off the list one by one. To personalize your marathon, fill your pantry with some of your favorite childhood snacks or make them yourself.
If you’re not into holiday movies, put on your favorite TV series instead. The goal is to appease your inner child, rest, and enjoy the season’s joy in the comfort of your home.
You Can Curate A Virtual Holiday Check-in
Just because you want to spend the holidays solo, that doesn’t mean it has to be silent. If you still crave connection, dedicate time to check in with your family and friends virtually. You could schedule time for virtual cheers, to exchange gratitude lists, or to do a wellness check. This can be especially meaningful to loved ones grieving during the holidays.
A virtual check-in is a way to still connect with the people you love, remind them you’re thinking of them, and honor your need to stay home.