Believe it or not, the words erotic and meditation can be interconnected. Although eroticism is about sexual desire and the body, mindfulness, a form of meditation, can also be about being present and aware of sensations inside and outside your body. Being present and grounded in eroticism could be a great way to intensify your sexual experience with your partner or solo. Erotic meditation is a practice that involves slowing down to connect with your body and the sensations that it experiences.
Additional names for erotic meditation can include mindful sex, sex meditation, meditation masturbation, orgasmic meditation, and tantric masturbation. The purpose of the practice is to experience a more profound sensual pleasure by committing yourself to expand your horizons with sexual play. Another purpose of erotic meditation is to help you focus and remain present during foreplay and intercourse, deepening your pleasure and connection to your body.
There are also great benefits when it comes to practicing erotic meditation with your partner, as it can serve as a different approach to bonding, according to Jacqueline Sherman, Ph.D. “It’s important to practice erotic meditation because it is a fun and relaxing way to create sexual novelty for yourself and your partner. Novelty is essential to our sex lives because it keeps us sexually excited. When we try something new and are sexually adventurous with our partner(s), it can deepen intimacy and feelings of closeness. In long-term relationships, novelty is linked to greater relationship satisfaction,” she states.
Explore four different ESSENCE-approved approaches to erotic meditation with your partner or solo.
Sherman states that traditional guided erotic meditation is a solo practice. This usually involves listening to a 10-15 minute guided audio or video recording to tap into your eroticism. If you struggle with low libido, sexual shame, or feel disconnected from your body, an erotic meditation can help you move through roadblocks to experience sexual excitement and freedom.
She suggests, “Be sure to have an open, non-judgmental mindset before starting. Get comfortable and reduce distractions. Close your eyes and start with a few deep breaths from your diaphragm. Scan your body from top to bottom. During the meditation, you will systematically connect to your sensuality and move through your sense of sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste.”
This technique can be practiced with a partner to increase the release of oxytocin (the love/bonding hormone). Sherman suggests getting naked and sitting in your partner’s lap facing them. One partner sits cross-legged, and the other sits atop their lap, facing them while interlacing ankles.
Some couples might not be ready for the nudity required for a skin-to-skin erotic meditation. In that case, they can practice closeness through a back-to-back meditation. Sherman suggests sitting in a comfortable position that allows you and your partner’s backs to touch during the exercise.
During a partnered erotic meditation practice, you will masturbate to connect with your sexual self-pleasure while also being mindful of your partner’s experience of pleasure. Each partner can focus on what their senses are communicating to them. You and your partner want to consider all five senses (sight, taste, smell, hearing and touch). “If a couple is interested in intensifying their erotic meditation experience, they can engage in partnered masturbation while meditating,” says Sherman.