For those who call New York City home, dating someone who lives in a different borough can be risky. It’s technically a long-distance relationship where true effort is required just to meet up, hang out, and have intimacy.
But it was a risk that Bianca and Tannis were willing to take. So after connecting on a popular dating app back in 2015, the ladies met in the middle. Bianca, then a Brooklyn-ite, and Tannis, then a Harlem dweller, had their first date on the Lower East Side of Manhattan at a bar. The commute was well worth it.
“We ended up hitting it off and spent the whole night at the bar,” Bianca tells ESSENCE. “Our date lasted for hours with us just talking and laughing. It felt like we knew each other, and there was this instant chemistry.”
Following that special meetup, the ladies dated for more than six years, falling in love with everything from how they adore their family to the warmth they bring to the everyday. This made them feel like they could, and wanted to, do life together.
“It wasn’t one moment in particular but a culmination of our shared experiences and feelings that let me know I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving her,” Tannis says. “She is my rock in so many ways, but it’s her kindness and passion that I’ve always admired most.”
And so they discussed it, as people in love do. But they went about the proposal in a way that most people don’t.
“We wanted an element of surprise, but we also wanted to be transparent with each other because we recognized we’re both women who wanted to experience the feeling of being ‘proposed’ to,” Bianca says. “So we had discussed the idea of proposing to one another before it happened because we wanted to allow enough time to start saving for the ring, and we also wanted to make sure we weren’t planning on proposing to one another around the same time.”
And so, the ladies quietly planned and prepared, aiming to figure out the best moment to pop the question without giving anything away. To Bianca’s surprise, Tennis struck first in September of 2021. The ladies, then living in Houston, went on a date to Nobu. While on their way to the famed restaurant, or so Bianca thought, they stopped at a nearby hotel, La Colombe d’Or, where Tannis told Bianca she wanted to show her something cool real quick. They entered into the hotel’s garden area, where Bianca, whose mind and mouth was set on the meal she would soon be eating, received the surprise of a lifetime.
“As soon as we walk in, there’s a violinist playing our song, ‘I Love You by Cheri Dennis,’ with rose petals and candles leading to the center of the garden. That’s when it hit me that this proposal was for me.”
About five months later, Tannis received that same unforgettable, joyous feeling — also to the sounds of “I Love You” by Cheri Dennis. Bianca decided to propose on Valentine’s Day, taking her on a private helicopter ride. Because that day is often a given for proposals, Tannis thought one was going to happen during the ride over the city. It did not.
“The private helicopter ride was so beautiful, but I could tell she was bummed that I hadn’t popped the question,” says Bianca. But that was intentionally done so her partner wouldn’t see her big surprise coming. She told her that a friend was hosting a “Galentine’s Day” event at a popular Spanish tapas restaurant called MAD, and upon entry, Tannis was greeted with red roses and a DJ playing their song.
“I knew I had to do it big for her proposal because I wanted her to feel exactly how I felt, so loved and cherished,” Bianca says. “As the hostess guided us to our private room, Tannis pulled back the velvet curtain and was surprised to find her parents and close friends waiting for us as I got down on a knee and proposed to her. We immediately celebrated with our loved ones with a private engagement dinner. It was truly magical.”
With all the planning that the ladies put into asking for one another’s hand in marriage, it’s no surprise then that they went all out for their wedding day. Bianca and Tannis said “I do” in a gorgeous celebration in Houston at Boxwood Manor on May 25, 2023. The ladies, both in bridal gowns, both walking down the aisle, were surrounded by white roses and lots of love as they jumped the broom and became the Spencers. The love story that began at a tiny bar in LES after they decided to take a chance on one another had culminated in a magical ceremony and party in a sprawling space in front of everyone who had been rooting for them from the beginning. It was everything they wanted — and more.
“We had been dreaming of this day and planning for this day and to finally be present with the love of my life on my wedding day? It was bliss,” says Bianca.
Take a gander at all of the beauty in the ladies’ special day, and learn more about how it came together and what they love most about being the Spencers in this week’s Bridal Bliss!
“We both knew that we wanted to wear wedding gowns and we hadn’t really considered otherwise,” she says. “We understand there can sometimes be a stereotype for lesbian weddings, but we only did what we felt was true to ourselves and reflected our styles individually.”
“We wanted to make sure our gowns complemented each other when we stood next to one another, but we didn’t want to see it until the wedding day. So we had one trusted person on each side, look at our dresses, compare them, and make sure we’d look good together,” Bianca says of how she and and her bride went about finding their dresses. “It was important that we both felt like beautiful queens on our big day.”
Seeing one another in their wedding dresses for the first time is one of Bianca’s favorite moments from their special day. “It was just us and a few family members present and it felt so magical to see one another in our bridal dresses,” she says. “It was a surreal moment.”
“I had never connected with someone as easily as I did with Bianca,” she says. “She has a warmness about her that I really gravitated to.”
In a unique practice, both ladies were escorted down the aisle. Bianca is pictured with her mother, Katherine, during her grand entrance.
For her own “Here Comes the Bride” moment, Tannis was escorted by her father, Robert. His ability to walk her down the aisle after a health crisis makes it one of Tannis’s favorite moments from the day. “He had suffered a pretty intense stroke a few months before our wedding and we were unsure if he would be recovered enough to walk alongside me,” she says. “But he worked incredibly hard leading up to the wedding and walked me down the aisle like we had always planned.”
The ladies said “I do” inside of Boxwood Manor in Houston. After looking at other options, they realized they couldn’t pass up on the space. “After doing some research and viewing several venues we landed on the Boxwood because it was an elegant and classic venue that we felt our style aligned with, and we thought it would be easy to bring our lush and romantic wedding style to life,” Bianca says.
Meet the Spencers!
Guests are pictured hanging out during cocktail hour. They wore elegant black ensembles to celebrate Bianca and Tannis.
To properly celebrate, the couple made sure that the libations were plentiful and constantly flowing, as made evident by the drink menu for the reception.
The ladies are photographed sharing a sweet, close moment during their portrait session
While guests wore black to celebrate with the couple, the bridesmaids wore emerald green gowns, carrying bouquets of white roses, as they supported Bianca and Tannis.
The stunning florals present throughout the venue were done by Blush Floral Company. The entire event was put together by the Barr Event Co.
“What we love most about being married is the feeling of certainty and security, almost as if we hit the ‘life lotto’ and now the real party starts,” Bianca says.
“Both of our families have been incredibly supportive of our relationship since the very beginning. We’ve always been really fortunate in that way,” Bianca shares. “The people who love us individually, love us even more together, so it was a no-brainer that they would be involved in our wedding planning and special day.”
“Married life has been really beautiful,” Bianca says. “We love the idea of having a built-in partner, companion, and lover as wives.”
The Spencers (as the sign says) share in the fun of cutting into their beautiful wedding cake. It was made by Becca Cakes.
“My second favorite moment was when we had our dress change and walked back into our reception as the DJ played ‘Rock by Plies’ and introduced us as ‘The Spencers’ to kick off the party,” Bianca says. “We had so much fun and it felt so good to turn up and celebrate with our loved ones.”
The ladies wrapped up their festivities with sparklers. “To see all of our friends and family from around the country celebrate with us was so special,” Tannis says. So what’s next? The ladies recently celebrated their one-year anniversary and are excited about where life and love will take them. Bianca says, “We’re looking forward to growing our family in the future and continuing our legacy.”
Vendors
Photography: Kayley Elaine Photography
Wedding Planning: Barr Event Co.
Wedding Venue: Boxwood Manor
Tannis’s MUA: Lovey Olvera
Tannis’s Hair: Bri Abel; Felicia Burrows
Bianca’s Hair & MUA: Nyoka Gregory Beauty
Florals: Blush Floral Co.
Catering: Essen Catering
Cake: Becca Cakes
Mariachi Group: Mariachi Mi Mexico en Houston