Most women will want for a man what he doesn’t want for himself. I call this syndrome “maternal dysfunction,” and many women suffer from it. It’s natural for women to be strategic in planning a relationship, but in doing this, most women are too naive. They often end up giving men the very map they need to control the relationship to their own benefit. I strongly advise women never to initiate a relationship being too transparent in an effort to display how forthright and honest they are. There is a big difference between understanding exactly what you want the relationship to mature into, and expressing those thoughts aloud, only to have him play along. Remember, it’s easier for people to be who they really are than to be who they’re not. When you fully understand this concept, then you can navigate thoroughly through potential candidates. Don’t be afraid to ask him the kinds of questions that will make him think long and hard before he answers. From those answers, you can make your mental notes about where he’s at in his life without giving off an emotional reaction that will make him change his tune to match your reaction. Not every man is at the same point in his life as you are in yours. Some may be ready to settle down when you’re not ready and vice versa. Men will really always tell you who they are in an indirect way — by their opinions on certain things and the way they handle certain situations, etc. Read between the lines because what you see is definitely what you get! Don’t make excuses for behavior that you would be ashamed to discuss with someone else. If the foundation is not stable, then what you build is sure to collapse. Quote: “Problems are messages.” — Shakti Gawai, 1948 For more of Nicholas “Sixx” King’s Giving Love a Chance stories, click here.