Sex toys have gone from the nightstand to making waves on social media but Kandi Burruss always placed them on front street. “Back in the day when I first started Bedroom Kandi, it wasn’t really like a thing where everybody was just talking about their sex toys,” she tells ESSENCE. “Now it’s everywhere.”
The creator of the lifestyle company that launched in 2011 was sexually open years before influencers were clutching their roses on camera. In addition to Bedroom Kandi, she managed to turn a nasty rumor into yet another provocative and profitable business with her Welcome to the Dungeon burlesque shows.
“We as women are sexually liberated now and everybody’s owning their sexuality,” she says. “Nobody is being shamed for it anymore. If you shame somebody for it, then that’s a problem.”
“Some of the same people that may say, ‘Ooh, I can’t believe you did that. Ooooh.’ Those are the same people that are curious,” she adds. “They’re the same people that’s sitting there, like, I wonder what that’s like.’ But they don’t want to say that. They don’t want to look like they are doing something that’s not always looked at as respectable. Some people are like, ‘I’m too classy to do that.’ Ah, whatever. Your bedroom ain’t fun!”
Burruss believes people should be able to be themselves unapologetically, embracing their desires whether they have a partner to explore them with or they’re doing solo play.
“At the end of the day, a lot of people are out here, not in relationships, but are still sexual beings,” she says. “Just because you’re not committed in a relationship or you don’t have a boo, that doesn’t mean you don’t feel that need every now and then.”
She adds, “I don’t feel like there has to be a rule book.”
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Burruss and her Bedroom Kandi brand are still innovating within the industry. BK has collaborated with City Girls rapper Yung Miami on a collection, including a sex swing and special edition wearable vibrator. The brand was also recently honored as the Home Party Company of the Year for their boutique parties at the annual XBiz Awards, which honors achievements in all aspects of the sex industry, including pleasure products.
“It’s a real blessing to say that we are the best in the business at this point,” she says.
And outside of Bedroom Kandi, Burruss isn’t just empowering people in regards to sexuality. She has a new RHOA spinoff called Kandi & The Gang coming to Bravo. Viewers will see how she empowers her family and staff who work with her on the successful restaurant chain Old Lady Gang (OLG).
“It makes me feel more empowered by empowering them,” she says. “You know how we always talk about ‘If I eat my whole team eats’? That’s what it’s about. You want to put the people in your circle on. You want to make sure everybody is able to have the opportunity to be able to take their dreams and their life to the next level.”
And Burruss remains empowered too, balancing her many bags (i.e., businesses) with being a mother and wife. She manages to make time for everything, including having a healthy sex life with husband Todd Tucker.
“When you’re married for a long time, you have to be intentional about making sure y’all don’t fall in a rut,” she says. “There were moments where I felt like, we haven’t really been doing it as much as we used to. And I said, you know what? I’m not going to allow that to happen. So if I feel like maybe two days have passed, I’m like, Ah, ah, ah! I better step up and do something today. We gon’ turn up today!”
She adds, “When you start getting comfortable with each other, that’s when things, especially if you have kids, can kind of become slow in the bedroom. But you have to remember. You have to keep that same spice that you had when you first got together. And that’s not going to come from us going to bed early.”
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, she plans on surprising Tucker with something special. “We have been working so much that we haven’t really had any one-on-one time,” she admits. She’ll have some new tricks up her sleeve, but she also plans on incorporating some staples of their foreplay that they both love. So while she’ll turn on Muni Long’s “Hrs and Hrs,” she says her favorite sexy time classic to play is Avant’s “Read Your Mind.”
“I loved it for years when it first came out so any playlist I have, I still put it on there,” she says. “Todd always says if that song comes on, he knows it’s on.”
Check out Bedroom Kandi’s latest offerings over at the brand’s site ahead of Valentine’s Day. Kandi & The Gang premieres on Bravo on March 6.