Nearly four years after leaving the White House, former President Barack Obama is opening up about what life was like as the 44th President of the United States in his new memoir A Promised Land.

One of Barack’s most admirable qualities is that he is a doting husband to his wife Michelle and proud father to his two daughters Malia and Sasha. In an excerpt obtained by CNN, Barack reveals that his marriage was somewhat strained by the demands of his job.

“And yet, despite Michelle’s success and popularity, I continued to sense an undercurrent of tension in her, subtle but constant, like the faint thrum of a hidden machine,” he writes. “It was as if, confined as we were within the walls of the White House, all her previous sources of frustration became more concentrated, more vivid, whether it was my round-the-clock absorption with work, or the way politics exposed our family to scrutiny and attacks, or the tendency of even friends and family members to treat her role as secondary in importance.”

“Lying next to Michelle in the dark, I’d think about those days when everything between us felt lighter, when her smile was more constant and our love less encumbered, and my heart would suddenly tighten at the thought that those days might not return,” he continued

Michelle has also been candid about what it’s like being married to a man with Presidential ambitions. “At home, our frustrations began to rear up often and intensely,” she wrote in her best-selling memoir Becoming. “Barack and I loved each other deeply, but it was as if at the center of our relationship there was suddenly a knot we couldn’t loosen.”

Fortunately, things are looking up for the Obamas, who recently celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary. In a loving Instagram post, Barack said that every day he spends with his wife “makes me a better husband, a better father, and a better human.” Michelle returned the love on her own page, writing, “So grateful to have him as a partner through everything life throws at us.” The Obamas also used their anniversary shout-outs to encourage their followers to vote for Joe Biden ahead of the tense election.

Barack Obama’s memoir A Promised Land goes on sale on November 17th and can be pre-ordered here.

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