You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I am 28 and my husband is 26. We have been together for six years and married for five. He is currently in the military and we have a nice life together. Recently I have been having baby fever and I feel that my husband and I are ready to start a family. Unfortunately, he wants me to wait about 3-5 years more years and he has the same answers as to why. He thinks we are to young and that my baby fever is in part due to all the cute kids I see on social media. Simply put, he just doesn’t want a baby now. I feel like since the beginning of our relationship I have given him everything he has wanted and put a lot of what I want a need on hold for him. I feel that now I am done repeating that habit and almost feel that we are not going to work out if he cannot understand my feelings. I really want him to consider the next chapter of our lives and find a way to prepare himself for it. I am at a crossroad and don’t know what my next step should be.
Empty But Ready Womb
Baby talk is serious talk and your husband does not seem to be taking you seriously. After five years of marriage, you would think that starting a family would be the next step. Your husband’s explanation of wanting to wait three to five years does not make a lot of sense unless he just doesn’t want children. It is rarely a perfect time in a relationship to start a family. At the age of 28, your biological clock is honestly ticking. With that being said, both you and your husband should be on the same page and try to get pregnant if you want a family. It seems as if you have been accommodating while your husband has been in the military. It is time to have a serious heart to heart talk with your him. If he can not understand and come to an agreement with you, I recommend that you seek marital therapy to process issues. It is important to have that conversation sooner than later. Once you become clear about your husband’s intent, you must make some decisions for your life. If being a mother is a deep desire, you may have to decide if you want a child with someone who do not share your desire to be a parent. Even when you do have a mate in agreement with becoming a parent, you may find yourself taking the primary parental role. You must be prepared to be a single parent even if you are married. That is why you must be totally committed to being a parent with or without a husband. Life is too short to look back with a lot of ” shoulda, coulda woulda”. If you want a family, do not settle for less or wait forever. –Dr. Sherry
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