You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…

Hi Dr. Sherry,

I’m confused on my best friend right now. She and I go way back to the fourth grade and we are everything to each other. I had a “thing” with a guy last summer after a bad break up. He and I got really close but we ended up not dating and things got bad between us.

Some time past and he and I became started talking again and our friendship resumed. My best friend had met him at church and started taking pictures of him and sending it to me which mad me really mad. I told her about how I felt and she told me she wouldn’t want anything to do with him because of a conflict that had happened last summer.

Later on I found out she had lied to me and went to his house. She proceeded to post him all over her social media. Now I don’t want to come off like I’m over reacting, but it’s really bothering me. She’s my best friend and I know her very well. My ex- “thing” happens to think she’s pretty but I’m worried because she uses guys who take interest in her and I know that’s what she is doing now.

Any thoughts? 

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It is clear that your “best friend” has broken all girl codes of dealing a friend’s current or ex. Not only has she broken the codes, she is flaunting it in your face. She has no regard for your feelings or friendship.

This brings up the question if the two of you are really best friends.

She maybe your best friend but you do not seem to be her best friend. It is clear that she and your ex- “thing” have something going on. There is absolutely no reason for her to be going to his house or taking and posting pictures of him if they were not messing around. The fact that you told her that it made you mad and she continued is totally disrespectful. That is who she is but the real issue is why are you still considering her your best friend. Is this really someone you can trust or share your deepest secrets with? I don’t think so but she is not my friend. Maybe you should reconsider what role she is playing in your life. It is also time to redefine what you consider a friend.

If you want respect from others, you must demand it. Otherwise, people including friends will disrespect you without thinking about it or considering your feelings. You must have enough respect for yourself not to be disrespected by others. If you want something different or more in a friendship, don’t settle for less. –Dr. Sherry 

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