You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
About two weeks ago I discovered my boyfriend, whom I’ve only been with two months, has been texting another girl. There was no intimacy other than kissing and cuddling. While we’re both only 19, and we’ve only been together a short while but I can’t force myself to break away.
The mere two months we’ve had together have been euphoric. We went on vacation together, I met his parents and we get along very well. He met my grandparents and they get along as well. While I understand the time we spend together seems insignificant we experienced so much together and I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him.
This is not the first relationship or serious relationship I’ve been in but other than the cheating, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I asked him why he did what he did and he said his former relationship was so toxic it’s hard for him to break away from the pattern. (Their relationship consisted of cheating and emotional abuse. He was not the abuser.) Since our breakup, I’ve been giving him plenty of space and room to grow but I still think of him daily. Once in a while, he’ll text me but other than that we have no contact and we’ve discussed maybe one day down the road getting back together but he’s unsure of what he wants. I don’t know whether or not I should move on or wait for him. I am so young but I am so in love.
Young And In love
You are so right! At age 19, you are so young to be so in love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being in love but there is a problem with putting your love life in park until the other person grows up and decides if he want to move forward with you. You could be stuck in park for years. You are handing over the keys by putting someone else in the drivers’ seat of your life. In fact, your friend may never grow up or decide that he wants to be in a relationship with you. Love will come and love will go in relationships but you must love yourself enough to avoid settling for anyone. Having fun and some good times together should not be interpreted as love. It is indeed time to move on and find love many times with different people before falling in love with the right person. — Dr. Sherry
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