Ladies, we know you’re tired of sifting through multiple dating apps only to be left with the prospect of potential partners who later reveal themselves to be professional daters, unreliable, or just plain weird.
Many of us long to return to the “golden days” when dating apps weren’t as prevalent, so we had to rely on organically meeting someone while getting coffee, at a grocery store, concert, or even through a friend. But for those interested in deleting dating apps in hopes of a fresh romantic start, where should they begin? We tapped Damona Hoffman, author of F the Fairy Tale, for some pointers.
Although she believes that dating apps are the most powerful tool in your dating toolbox, she notes that it should not be your only tool. “Dating apps are only a shortcut to introductions, but once you move offline, online dating is just dating, so it’s important to keep your offline dating skills sharp, too,” she shares. Finding love organically is about being open, intentional, and proactive. Real connections don’t happen in isolation, so step into the world with confidence and a willingness to connect.
Here are her tips for getting new matches into your orbit and inspiration for being courageous enough to say “hi” to a handsome stranger:
1. Embrace Your Everyday Spaces
Love doesn’t just happen in some magical place; it can happen in the grocery store, at your favorite coffee shop, or even while walking your dog. Instead of zoning out on your phone, be open to small moments of connection. Smile, strike up conversations, and make yourself approachable.
2. Take Up a New Hobby
A hobby brings people together in structured, low-pressure ways. You’re not just sitting across from someone, trying to figure out what to say—you’re actively engaged in a shared activity. This makes it easier to start conversations and build rapport. Plus, it expands your circle of connection.
3. Let Your Network Know You’re Looking
Don’t underestimate the power of your community. Tell friends, family, or coworkers you’re open to meeting someone special. People love playing matchmaker, and you never know who might have a friend, cousin, or neighbor who could be your perfect match. Just be specific about what you’re looking for. If you say “set me up with someone,” you might get “someone” instead of “the one.”
4. Say Yes to Invitations
Even if you’re tempted to stay home in your cozy clothes, accept those invites to parties, weddings, or happy hours. I call this “Adopting an Attitude of Yes” in my book. These are prime opportunities to meet new people in natural settings. Plus, your openness to new experiences signals the universe (and potential partners) that you’re ready for love.
5. Take the Lead in Small Moments
If you feel a spark or notice someone interesting, don’t be afraid to take the initiative (regardless of gender — old-fashioned rules about who can initiate are so last year.) Use my P.S. World technique to start a conversation with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Make a “curiosity comment” about something about their Person (“Nice jacket!”) or the Space (“Wow, look at that painting!”) or the World (“Did you hear the news?”)