Jada Pinkett Smith is serving up another healthy chunk of candid honesty about her relationship with Will Smith on this week’s Red Table Talk with Gwyneth Paltrow. This time, she’s deep-diving into the difficulties of keeping the motor running after many years together. 

Pinket -Smith shared with her mom Adrienne Banfield-Norris and guest Gwyneth Paltrow (naturally, Willow stepped out on this one) that there are a number of challenges to maintaining a good sex life after decades of marriage. 

“It’s hard,” Jada said of keeping the physical connection going. “The thing Will and I talk about a lot is the journey. We started in this at a very young age, you know, 22 years old. That’s why the accountability part really hit for me because I think you expect your partner to know [what you need], especially when it comes to sex. It’s like, ‘Well if you love me, you should know. If you love me, you should read my mind.’ That’s a huge pitfall.”

Pinkett went on to explain that both parties have to be open and honest about desires and needs, and that’s not always as easily practiced. 

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“You tell me what you need. Tell me what you want, and on top of it, I know that I have to be accountable to do the same…I really try,” she added. “It’s uncomfortable, but it’s deeply healthy, and I think around sex, because it’s something that we don’t talk about and there’s so much fantasy around it.”

Will Smith famously spoke out about the honest communication he and Jada have maintained throughout the years in last month’s GQ profile. 

 “We have given each other trust and freedom, with the belief that everybody has to find their own way,” Smith revealed in the article. “And marriage, for us, can’t be a prison.”

“I don’t suggest this road for anybody,” he added. “But the experiences that the freedoms that we’ve given one another and the unconditional support, to me, is the highest definition of love.”

The couple has admitted on separate occasions that these freedoms have led them to physical relationships outside of their commitment. But, as Pinkett Smith has never been interested in a “conventional marriage,” this was a relational possibility that the couple always recognized as an option on the table.