One Sunday last month, while at church, I bumped into fellow Black mom, *Rachel, as she picked up her twin sons from Sunday School. We reside in the same neighborhood, and our children once attended the same preschool. Genuinely connecting with other like-minded moms is not easy and while Rachel and I are far from besties, whenever we meet up we always have good conversation, encourage each other and, most importantly, share a few hearty laughs.
After gathering her boys, we decided to break bread together in the café located in our church’s basement. While our sons bonded over Minecraft and Sonic, we caught up over a meal of tasty fried fish, grits and biscuits.
As we chowed down, I was shocked to learn that Rachel had been furloughed like roughly 750,000 other Americans during the recent government shutdown. Rachel is divorced and although her ex-husband is still an active father to their 7-year-old twins, she is their primary caregiver. Rachel did not sugarcoat the challenges she was facing still having to show up at work and perform all her expected duties, sans a paycheck. Her boys participate in sports and other extracurricular activities. Last Spring Break she took them on an exciting weeklong vacation. While Rachel hustles hard to give her children experiences that they will treasure for a lifetime, she’s by no means ballin’. She’s resourceful, intentional and thrifty and will do without in a heartbeat in order to create a little (or a lot) of extra joy for them.
During our impromptu brunch, Rachel revealed that she had to make some humbling financial decisions. She was busy contacting all her creditors to make payment arrangements, because, as she bluntly stated, “If I ain’t got it, they can’t get it.” Since nobody knew how long the shutdown would last, her uncertainty was palpable. I’m sure the holiday season being just around the corner only added to her concern. She seemed to have had some savings to cover her household’s necessities. Or maybe she was surviving with the help of loved ones. Perhaps it was a combination of both. But beyond that? Rachel was nervous AF. More than once, her understandable angst caused her to almost cuzz (yes cuzz; not curse). Each time she caught herself on the verge of uttering some profanity, she stopped and whispered, “Girl, I gotta remember that we’re in church!”
If Rachel had cuzzed, I think God would have understood, because being expected to show up for work daily as normal, without getting a dime is beyond crazy. And to be forced to do it with multiple mouths to feed is nothing short of diabolical. Thankfully, our church is one of many across the country that gave their members monetary stipends to assist with basics like transportation costs while they were furloughed. Our church also offers food to those in need weekly all year, and during the shutdown, that offering was increased. Many companies, from small businesses like hair salons to Fortune 500 corporations like major banks were granting free and discounted goods and services to those being negatively impacted by the shutdown. (We see you Metowi and Shay Hair Musuem!)
Stipends, food pantries and yes, even comped beauty services, are invaluable for our communities during times of heightened economic strife. In tough times like a government shutdown, impacted employees can feel helpless. But we know what the United States just experienced was far from a “typical” shutdown—especially for our communities. It lasted well over a month, 43 days to be exact, and was the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. This is coupled with the fact that more than 300,000 Black women have lost their jobs this year and DEI programs have been unjustly gutted from the workforce, leaving many people reeling.
The cost of living got even more expensive for Americans this past September. Consumer prices rose, driving the annual rate of inflation from 2.9% to 3%, the highest it’s been since January, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The price of gas has shot up, and food prices followed. Housing-related inflation is also following these painful trends.
Women like Rachel deserve to be seen and supported. Everyone is having to do more with less. Every last one of us. And every last one of us is stronger together than we are moving solo. True community trumps the nonsense we are collectively living through (pun intended). Working together whenever and however possible is not only necessary for us physically but also mentally and emotionally. It might mean volunteering time or resources at a neighborhood senior center or donating toys or clothes to a foster care agency. It might also mean hosting a potluck gathering with loved ones, laughing, ish-talking and line dancing until the wee hours of the morning.
The day after catching up at church, I texted Rachel and offered to watch her kids if and when she needed to run an errand, get a manicure or simply binge-watch her favorite shows for a few hours uninterrupted. I am clutching my coins more than usual during these uncertain times so I couldn’t afford to help Rachel pay any of her bills while she was furloughed. Yet I wanted to at least ensure she didn’t incur any new ones like having to pay for a sitter. Reliable childcare can be expensive. I also knew that Rachel, like most Black women, would probably never ask me for help. But she would appreciate knowing that she was being thought of—not pitied—in a genuine way.
While Rachel hasn’t taken me up on that offer yet, thankfully she’s no longer furloughed. My offer still stands. And that offer includes feeding her boys if necessary and making sure they engage in the same activities as my son while they’re in my care. I know she would return the favor and do the same for my son.
Many of us are unemployed or underemployed right now and actively trying to figure it out. True community is rooted in compassion, and it is something no administration can legislate or discourage. We always get further, faster and more whole when we display it. So as the holidays approach, and long after they leave, let’s spread all the love, grace and compassion we can stand! It’s doesn’t cost to show a little empathy.
The shutdown may be over, but our bills are still coming—and so is the stress they can bring. Check out the resources below and share with anyone you know who might benefit from them.
- Federal Employee Education & Assistance Fund
- U.S. Department of Labor Rapid Response Services
- Aprio: Resources for Displaced Federal Workers
- Velma Carter Centre: The Real, Raw and Necessary Guide for Navigating a Layoff as a Black Woman
- Visit sites like HIRE BLACK NOW and BLACK REMOTE SHE
*Name changed to protect privacy.