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Sexual harassment in the streets, every woman has a story. Why do you look at me when you say that? I'm not. [LAUGH] Every woman has a story of being catcalled or harassed on the street, in the club, on the train, in the grocery store, etc. But there have been recent cases where women have been attacked or killed for refusing a man's advances, most recently here in New York, the young lady on Eastern parkway During the Indian Day parade she was shot because she didnt want to dance with a gentleman. I use the term gentleman loosely. Why is the act of approaching a woman in public such a tricky one? Fellas? It's not. The moment they're not interested, you back off. Mm-hm. And it should be that simple but we're very It's a weird, very weird male excuse culture like when we part in ridiculous behavior and we don't hold. We don't hold each other accountable but also parents cannot hold an accountable like there's no system of accountability. That's the word for the most part so this things become favorable and you see things like what women's wearing. How a woman's acting. How you get looked at, or any number of signs that you can take as excuses for approaching a woman in a certain way. You take those as some sort of indemnification for moving forward, however you see fit. And it's not suitable, as someone who's approached women and gotten turned down. But I've also approached women and had a favorable response. I know better than to say Hey, how are you beautiful? And she says, no. Then to yell at her or proceed to chase after her or to make her feel uncomfortable once she's expressed that that advance isn't appreciated. And you mentioned accountability. If you're with one of your boys and he starts to get reckless Would you check on, do you like- Absolutely. Leave her alone. Absolutely. Okay, good. Chris? So my father treated my mother like a queen from the first day to the last day he was on earth and that stuck in me. And he was very strict on me about how I spoke to her. He always called my mom his queen and his apple of his eye. So. When I, do approach women or when I have approached women, sometimes when I approach them in that matter, they think that I'm running game. But in actuality because they're so not used to hearing, guys just come at them in a respectful manner. It's true. Which is a reflection on our society. That now, sometimes even treating them respectfully sometimes is seen as game. So it's very hard to approach a woman nowadays period. Right? Cuz it's awkward. You're approaching a stranger, and women nowadays to me And this is a good thing. By taking more leadership roles in the workforce. There are a lot of women who are major breadwinners now in the household. So you feel that that's carrying onto the street into this dynamic? I feel that it is and I feel that a lot of men are intimidated. Yes. And so, in that intimidation they don't know how to treat them. So they come at them aggressively as a sense of fulfilling their male ego, and it comes out completely wrong. And then after that, it's just- People lashing out. It's a lashing out. And I always check all of my male friends. And then what I do is, they say You're guilty by association. Mm-hm. So I don't hang around, my circle has gotten very small as I've gotten older and I've kind of learned who I should and want to be around. And the energy that I'm very conscious of energy- Right. And a lot of my friends from my past were very disrespectful to women. So no. It's good that you separated yourself from that. But not many do. But [UNKNOWN], I wanna bring you into the conversation. How do you feel that women should handle that? You're giving clues in terms of what you're dealing with as a woman and how you encounter that. And when I was younger, I was very much the girl who would talk trash back. And growing up in LA, it's not a pedestrian culture, so it's not very often that you encounter people like that. But you would get cursed out, and that would just become part of the banter. Like you would just be talking trash to one another. When I moved to the bay area when I went to college, it was a very different situation. And I remember- Hyphy. My freshman year in college a girl going out, and Saying a guy tried to talk to her in the club and she's gonna give him any play, and he spit on her and kicked her in the back down some stairs. I was like, [SOUND] okay, so maybe I should change my approach here. You see why I don't So, is very different. So we now will go out and then someone will try to holla in newer editions and I'll call it is like a conversation all of them I [UNKNOWN]. It was kinda whole lie. [CROSSTALK] [CROSSTALK] I'll be honest, I told my nieces, my nieces are, a lot of my nieces are 21, at those ages where they're being approached. And I told them, no matter what, treat the person with respect, and kill them with kindness. Because it's hard to come back when someone's, when. Because, I've been rejected in good ways, where it's been like, Thank you, that was so nice, but I'm currently seeing someone else. I don't think you came at them with [SOUND]. No, right, when they come at you like that, it's just like you combat hate with love, right. So if someone comes at you aggressively, say listen, brother, I'm sorry, I'm with someone. But thank you for the compliment. I appreciate that. I'm sure that somebody with a [UNKNOWN]. Just diffuse the situation. Because if they already giving you that approach that they're aggressive You know what? Hm-mm. I'm about to say, I want to bring Christine into this. I'm sorry, no, wait, wait. [CROSSTALK] But wait, but wait. If a man comes at you aggressive, he's already give you the hint that he's aggressive. Listen, I've had bottles thrown at me in DC. I've been like physically assaulted for telling a man- Most women have No, and I was, you know, I can't remember having these conversations with my parents, because it's just a societal understanding. Different time>> You appear some way, you give off this energy, or you're kind. And it's setting this standard for women that's unrealistic.>>Right. If I'm a woman who's been physically assaulted. For turning down a man. And I'm expected to be respectful, I'm expected to be kind and kill them with kindness and combat love with hate. No. For me, that's another way of absolving men of bad behavior. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Make him feel better when he's in the wrong. You can't put yourself on the [INAUDIBLE] of understanding What's going to set back a predator, because you're not in a predatory mindstate. And you're not thinking, so by telling your daughter, okay, dress this way, or do it this way, or be respectful, terrific parenting. But because you're being a good parent, and because you're thinking from the standpoint of a man raising a daughter, you can't think as a savage who's just out to get a woman's attention, or get a woman's company, or do anything By any means, that's not the frame of mind. Their not in the frame of mind of logic, and if you're in the frame of mind of kicking a woman in the back, spitting on her, throwing a bottle at her, chances are you're not in a space where logic is going to be your best friend. And at what point does it be, okay dress this way, okay wrap your hair, okay be respectful, at what point does that. Or just stay in the house, don't ever go outside. [CROSSTALK] Just one moment though, I need to put a pin in this real quick cuz I wanna hear what they're saying out here in social media. We asked if you've ever been groped in public, and quite a few of you responded. @Kesi_P Tweeted, yes and it was very uncomfortable. But luckily, there were other men his size around who addressed it before I could @MYTWEETOLOGY said, Slapped on my ****. Just as humiliating. Turn to let the world know and everyone pleaded the 5th. Welcome to Mardi Gras in Nola. And one more from @SHAKLAND who said, I was too slow to react, because I was stunned (happened as I was getting off the train). I cant quantify how violated I felt. [BLANK_AUDIO]
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