Show Transcript
A frenemy is somebody that just should not be in your inner circle. If you have a frenemy, someone who's your friend yet an enemy, then that says a lot about you if you have a person like that in your circle. We have circle of friends. I have a friend that I talk to every day. My friends that I talk to once every four months-- Mm-hm. They may feel like they my friends from everyday-- (LAUGHS) But you gotta treat them with like a distance in between. Mm-hm, a little space. And everybody has a frenemy because what happens is you have a friend that you don't even know is your enemy until it hits the fan. Right! That's whenever [INAUDIBLE] You are! You are! And you have two days! [INAUDIBLE] That's true. But if you do know, you're funky. Yeah. If you know, you gotta get him out of there. You don't need to keep your enemies that close. That's what Twitter and Instagram is for, we could keep up with everybody's happenings online. We don't have to have them all All up in our business business. They're your friend right but everything they say and do doesn't match. Right. Like you're labeled a friend but it's like whoa. SIgns. This is how I Split up my friends. If you come to my house and I cook you dinner, then we kiki girlfriends. But it I don't want you using my bathroom Right, then it's not, we're not friends. Wait, wait, wait. [CROSSTALK] [LAUGH] The guest bathroom. The guest bathroom is down the road. If someone is not a real friend, then they don't need to To be in your life. I left small town USA with a lot of issues with men, and women because my best friend from elementary school grew up all the way through high school, had a baby with my boyfriend. Stop. Who I was with for four years. What? No that's not a friend She ain't no friend in me. She's an enemy. Yeah so that's all the way frenemy, but the thing is with the frenemy thing if you don't know it's not your fault. No. but if you do know and you keep that person in your camp you deserve what you get. You have your best friends who have been riding with you forever. Say they have a friend and you don't necessarily like them. But, are you going to be the person, like Do not bring her because I cannot stand That's a good point. her. [CROSSTALK] I never like tell my friend she can't hang out with somebody. So you got control of the environment. Just the way [CROSSTALK] It's their birthday. Sometimes, so for example, Gee and I are friends, Gee and Chloe are friends, and now Gee is like I feel like Dana and Chloe should be friends. And you feel this pressure Pressure to be now your girlfriends, girlfriends, friend, and you're like, I'm not really feeling so, and so. Exactly, what do you do in those situations cuz you're forced to like, bond and mingle. No but if me and Jill are really good ki-ki girlfriends then she know not to play herself. [CROSSTALK] Exactly. Cuz you know girls will be like. She's not the one. [CROSSTALK] It's always okay to be cool with somebody, you dont have to be BFF. [CROSSTALK] You can just go out and be cool. That's part about being older. When you're older your friends respect your space. [CROSSTALK] But when you're younger, it's like, this is my friend and y'all gonna be friends, and the next thing you know, y'all fighting in the club. Getting kicked out by the bouncer. It's too much. [BLANK_AUDIO]

Why Do Women Have Frenemies?

Our ESSENCE Live panel weighs in on frenemies. How many of us have them?