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Let's switch it up and praise the women who have succeeded in love, like Tia and Cory Hardwick. I had the pleasure of meeting at Black Women in Hollywood. << Yes. << And they were just a stellar couple. Can you tell us about their love story? << Absolutely. You know they're so young and gorgeous couple. They've been together over fifteen years. << I, I didn't know that. << Yeah, it's incredible and they've continued to evolve and grow together. We've seen her career take off. We've known her since childhood, she had the huge run on the Game, and we've seen his career catch up, in essence. And he's on a new film coming out this month, Brotherly Love, but he's been so supportive, but what has worked for them is they have always put their relationship first. They are committed to the committment that they have made to one another. Which is very important. It's important, and after 15 years she works hard to make it interesting in the bedroom. She. She talked about, she's done burlesque classes. She had a bee sting which is a little re-germination for your love below. She's open to making sure that when the lights are on or off that everything is exciting for them. Well it's work, everything you have to keep. It's energy, you can't ever take it from Fred or you'll look up and it'll be gone. In the words of my boo. Fellow Louisianan Little Wayne- Yes. Don't get too comfortable. [LAUGH] This next co-, this next couple is the ultimate example of black love, President Obama and First Lady Michelle. The President has openly talked about their first kiss. He said, on our first date I treated her to the finest ice cream Baskin Robbins had to offer. I kissed her and it taste like chocolate. mm He didn't say the L part though. The first date is now being developed into a movie. What do you think is the secret to their long lasting relationship. Well they really are a couple who as not always been easy. I love the start of their love right? She's working at this law firm, she's a new associate. He's the intern. Will sometimes have holes in his shoe. He wore her down for a date. When they started dating, he had a rusty car that had a hole in the side of it. So she always saw a long-term vision for the, him and her. So, as you are dating, you might encounter a diamond in the rough, women. He wasn't president when they met. Mm-hm. He was a community organizer, just starting out, with a lot of student loan debt, and so, as a woman you wanna look for character, not necessarily his circumstances, so, cuz circumstances can change- Can you say that again? There's some women in Brooklyn that need to hear that. We're looking for character- [LAUGH] And, over circumstances- It's the truth. Cuz the characters are the things that will last a lifetime, so qualities about this person is who they are at the. Core. Mm-hm. Whereas not having the money, being on the rough time, having some rough family issues. Right. Those are things that can change. So you really wanna make sure you separate those two things, but it hasn't always been easy. Their life changed when they had children. They were both working. And so there was a time it was rocky there. She was like I feel like I'm raising these kids by myself. << By myself. I remember hearing that mm-hm. << And so one thing that's incredibly important in their relationship, they're not afraid of getting support. We have a first grandmother of the United States. << Right. << Because when she moved to that White House, she took her mother with her. It's cuz she said, I know I need support. << Mm-hm. << So they always tap into support, which is crucial to do for any relationship. And before we move on I also want to point out it's important to get support and not shade. Oh. [LAUGH] You know who can and cannot go to. Yes. Deep down, when you're in the shower by yourself and you're thinking, you know who you can and can't go to. But we're going to move on because that's for the third installment of real love. We asked you on the Facebook the same question and received some very powerful responses. Wendy Taylor Hill said "I've been with my hubby for 25 years we still can't believe it. We are best friends and we respect and understand each other deeply." Ma Webb gave a few points but this most intriguing one was that she stated to quote, "It's best to keep. Keep your circle tight with a small circle of friends and family that are going to lift you up and tell you the truth. I think that is what keeps people together. Sherea(g), what are your thoughts on their points of view? I absolutely agree. I love the first comment when she talked about the fact that we have respect for each other, which is. Crucial for a relationship, and you use that respect in selecting who do I talk to about my relationship, or my marriage, because you will need an outlet other than your partner. It's not just you two against the world all the time. You need to have places you can talk about what's going on inside of the relationship with a safe sounding board. And we definitely recommend having couples who are maybe ten to fifteen older than you, so it can give you a little bit more perspective and talk about their own experiences.

Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship

ESSENCE Relationships Editor on how couples like Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict and the First Couple make their marriages work.

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