Assertive vs Bitchy: Is There A Double Standard In The Workplace?

Our ladies break down the truth about the realities of double standards that arise in the workplace when women are assertive on the latest edition of ESSENCE Live.

ESSENCE.COM Sep, 09, 2016
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Ambition. We all got it. We're all pretty assertive, and you have to be especially if you're an entrepreneur or freelancer. But there's there word **** or being bitchy, if you're a little too assertive or asking for what you want. How do you handle that because gentlemen, they don't seem to have that problem. They're consider go getters. Being in business for yourself, I had to do it this week. Somebody tried to mess with my time and my money and my context, things that I don't mess with, so I had to assert myself and the next day I was second guessing myself and I talked to my mother and my boyfriend and they were like no, you did the right thing. And I thought why am I second guessing myself. So I feel like you're called a b word when you're a man you're called assertive I mean it's just about if you are going to be an entrepreneur, your own brand, nobody's gonna hustle for you like you. Don't ever apologize for doing the right thing. I think you're a b when you back stab other women, when you mess with somebody else's money or time that's when you're a b. You better drop that [UNKNOWN]. I agree. Very true. Church. Every day I'm told, I mean not every day Everyday but mostly everyday. [LAUGH] You're in a predominately male environment? Absolutely. Most of the time I have an attitude and I am a ****. And they'll tell you that. That'll be comfortable telling you that? Of course, of course because they think that I'll take it lightly and I'm like, yeah right, you know I guess in trying to change my attitude which only makes me want to be more bitchy- Right. And only, I think there is sometimes people get upset that you believe in your vision way more Then what they see, and you try to explain to them, and you know try to fix your vision and tell you how to do things and you're like, no no no, I know what I see, I said what I said, it's going to be what it's going to be right, this is what I'm going to do, and if you're going to rat on me, cool, if you're not going to rat on me, you can fall off, it's cool. People don't like that, they don't like that you have that line for yourself, they're like-- I don't care how much I'm going to Struggle going through whatever. If I see the vision and I know that it's gonna work for me. it's gonna work for me. So that word ****, you can call me **** all day. I'll be ****' to the bank. But they also say that too to make you cower down. To make you, like you said to be like no I don't wanna be perceived liked that. Yeah no, I don't care Actually, I had to tell a coworker one time. I was like, if I was a caucasian male, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Right. I've said that before. I was like, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Yeah. At all. And that's the sad part about it is that you get that categorization. And I think for me, especially for all of us is, women of color. We have a lot of hurdles to get over when it comes to being in the work place, being an entrepreneur. Before I can get there. Exactly, before you get there because of how people perceive you And so I never feel bad about having to stand up for myself or be assertive, because at the end of the day I know that's what I'm owed and that's what I deserve and people actually respect you more when you stand up for what you believe in and you don't take B. S. from them. Speaker 2 They're going to talk about you the whole Uber or subway ride home. Speaker 1 Yes Speaker 2 But your check's going to be on time. Speaker 1 It's going to be on time.