Every day we feature the beloved “Strawberry Letter” franchise that is so popular on “The Steve Harvey Morning Show,” heard nationwide. Send in your letters and Shirley Strawberry will dish out the necessary advice. Today’s topic: He wants a baby, I don’t Dear Steve and Shirley, I need some advice. I have been dating this guy for almost two years. We love each other and will probably get married one day. I am 40 and he is 38 years old. He does not have any children but I have a son who is almost 20. He absolutely loves children and wants me to have his baby. I do not want any more children. I told him this and he was aware of this before we got seriously involved. My reasons for not wanting to have a baby are my age and that I’m trying to finish college courses to obtain my accounting degree. I have another year and a half to go in college. I can retire from my job in five years. Before I met him, my plans were to obtain my degree, retire and maybe start my own accounting practice. He supports my efforts wholeheartedly but still wants to start a family with me (I guess he thinks I’m superwoman.). I do love him and I believe everyone should experience the joy of parenthood at least once. However, I don’t think he understands how babies will change our life and my future plans. Am I being selfish? He works full-time and he is a good man but I don’t think he is capable of taking care of me and a baby. I am secretly on birth control and I feel really bad about it because I know how much he wants a baby! If he ever found out he would never forgive me and would probably leave me. I don’t want to lose him because good men are hard to find; but I don’t want to alter my plans either. Should I? I love children too, but they require time and set limitations. I want to live free with him so we can go whenever or wherever we want without worrying about babies. Our relationship is cool; we actually get alone very well despite the fact that we are both very stubborn. We both know what we want, but we are finding it difficult to compromise. Should we end this relationship based on our differences? Can this be worked out or will we eventually fall out? -Woman in Control
- “Strawberry Letters” are letters sent from fans of the “Steve Harvey Morning Show” and therefore do not express the sentiments of ESSENCE Magazine or ESSENCE.com. As these are fan letters, we have left them as close to their original form as possible.