Every day we feature the beloved “Strawberry Letter” franchise that is so popular on “The Steve Harvey Morning Show,” heard nationwide. Send in your letters and Shirley Strawberry will dish out the necessary advice. Today’s topic: Why did I get married? I’m 39 years old and I married a man eight years younger than me. He came with a lot of baggage, not to mention he was going through a divorce when we met. Now that I have realized that this man is just a boy, I want out. He has no goals, no ambitions, is a mama’s boy and allows his ex-wife to run him into the ground between child support and visits with his son. He is lazy as hell. He doesn’t make a lot of money so that makes me the head of household, breadwinner, mother and father, etc. I have to tell him what to do in order for him to do it. I plan on leaving him, but I have too many things in my name to leave right now, like two car notes. He invited his mother, who I do not like, to our house for Thanksgiving; if I make other plans then I’ll be seen as the person who is pulling the family apart. His son is not allowed at my house, ever, because he made false allegations against me to Child Protective Services. His ex-wife will do whatever she can to make sure he is not a part of our family (fine by me). My problem is I don’t need to raise another child, as we have two together, but he is getting more out of this marriage than I am, as I have to handle every inch of responsibility with the kids, cars, bills, house, medical and dental decisions — you name it, I handle it. He is more of a burden and a liability to me than a husband. Due to his criminal background, he is unable to get a good paying job or an apartment on his own. I’m not worried about where he will live as he has plenty of family here, but I know he won’t keep up with the car payments if I tell him to take one of the vehicles and continue to pay on it then my credit will be messed up. Do you have any suggestions for someone who just wants another chance at love with the right person? I don’t want any child support and he can visit with his kids anytime he wants! That’s fair isn’t it? But how do I relay that to him when I was his everything and now he will have nothing?!
- “Strawberry Letters” are letters sent from fans of the “Steve Harvey Morning Show” and therefore do not express the sentiments of ESSENCE Magazine or ESSENCE.com. As these are fan letters, we have left them as close to their original form as possible.