Let Donald Trump And His Followers Listen To His Advice
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Donald Trump is a dummy and a liar, so naturally, in response to the outcry over that fool suggesting we ingest disinfectant and inject sunlight directly into our bodies as a means of combating the coronavirus, he simply pretended to be making the suggestion in jest. “I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters like you, just to see what would happen,” the goofy thot explained to reporters on Friday. And in case you needed further convincing, as others noticed, he repeated the word “sarcasm” four times to really drill it in. 

Donald Trump wouldn’t know sarcasm if it took a dump in the middle of whatever that mess on his head is, so let’s not bother even considering Trump is capable of employing sarcasm much less employed it last week. I’m surprised he even knows how to use his remote control. I have a hard time believing anything from that bucket head man’s mouth could go over my head. 

He was not being sarcastic. He meant it. He meant it so much that he’s only now embarrassed by the pushback. 

Trump may be a simpleton, but sadly he’s not that stupid. He would much rather others test the idea first. Regrettably but ever transparently, some have apparently heeded Trump’s recommendation. 

One man has died from drinking a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and while others may question exactly just how many people are sipping on that Fabuloso, the fact that we even have to ask speaks to the bigger problem writ large: the President of the United States is too stupid to function. 

I could write thousands upon thousands of words about how frustrating it is to see dumb White men fail up, but right now the only words that matter are that Donald Trump jeopardizes public health and media executives need to stop airing his propaganda.

And, to publications like The New York Times, can you stop sanitizing Trump’s incompetence and lunacy? 

The tweet that sparked justifiable anger may have been deleted, but the underlying problems exist. 

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They keep trying to make Trump sound like any other president under the pretense of objectivity when we know damn well his objectivity is “fake news” and a woman president or Black president wouldn’t be given the same level of courtesy. We know enough about Hillary Clinton’s campaign coverage from The New York Times to know this. God knows we know how former President Obama was treated in comparison to the man who actually embodies all of their ugliest stereotypes about Black men.

In a more just world, Donald Trump wouldn’t be treated fairly; he would be treated like he was Black. That would seal his demise sooner rather than later. But we know how it is. After all, some of these folks were once again touting his more “serious tone.”

And then Donald Trump tells us to drink bleach.

I’m Black, so Trump wouldn’t want advice from me, but if I could recommend anything to Donald right now, it would be the following: Dare to dream.

Have yourself a merry little Lysol-enhanced mocktail (since his vices of choice include fast food and Fox News rather than alcohol), Minute Maid Mao. There is no reason to question the possibilities. Well, there is a litany of information available if you just have the intellectual curiosity to do a Google search for it, but we know reading is too worrisome a task for him. So yeah, why not try out your lil’ theory, Big Tyrant.

Trump loves Diet Coke, so maybe he can chase some bleach with that. Make a whole party for the racist cult and invite some VIP members of the White supremacist cult and make it into a sip and see, too. Let that soft-baked bigot and his crew own us libs. 

I’ll send y’all ice on Postmates. 

Is everyone enjoying my sarcasm? I mean, I really can send the ice, but you know, it’s jokes. Ha ha? 

What makes this nightmare all the worse every single day is that our fate lies in a man who knows nothing but wants to say everything. I do not believe Trump will keep away from the press briefings for much longer. Eventually, he will return.

However, if Trump can’t say anything of use from that podium, he should shut up or drink bleach. And if he can’t do his part, media executives need to theirs. Or maybe they can have what he’s having.

End sarcasm.