Do you think of marriage as a business deal?
I was talking to a homegirl of mine and she said, “I don’t believe in marriage. I never have. Even when I was a little girl. To me, marriage is a business deal and I don’t want that kind of deal.” She went on to say a few of her friends claim “it all” changed as soon as they signed “that paper.”
I can dig it, but is that about the institution of marriage or the people in the union? I’ve said it a million times: Everything ain’t for everybody. Marriage is not an option for all. And so I had to stop and think, Is marriage an option for me? PAUSE ~ WHAT? I know. It sounds a little crazy coming from me since I’ve shared numerous thoughts of my future life as a happily married woman with healthy, happy children and the most dedicated, charming, faithful, loving, loyal man I’ve ever met. PLAY ~ Yes, yes, yes. It is an option for me, but only with the right person!
I think marriage is what you make it. Both of you! It’s a commitment to your commitment regardless of what life throws your way. I was at a 35th wedding anniversary celebration recently and a woman spoke of the importance of not giving up on each other. Everyone has problems. And should you leave for someone else, eventually you and that new person will have problems too. I guess the goal is to find the right person to live life with. One who will stand by you, grow with you, support you, check you when you need to be checked, love you, stand in the pouring rain with you when there is no shelter in sight, help you sort through and unpack that baggage that you’ve accumulated over the years. And would you do the same in return?
Let’s be honest, some of us have been fortunate enough to find a person who would anything for us, but we wouldn’t return the favor. That’s okay. They may not be the one for you. Don’t force it. You’ll regret it and resent them in the long run. You have the right to NOT want someone who wants you! This long-term love affair should be mutual. There has to be a somewhat equal give and take. PAUSE ~ And know that some days your give is more and on other days all you do is take! That’s cool as long as there is a back-and-forth on positions from time to time. PLAY ~ Well, since I’m not married and I’m still learning to master this thing called love, I’ll admit that I don’t have all the answers to this “business deal” called marriage. The aforementioned, well, it’s just my opinion. As always!
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