My mother always says the only thing you can change about a man is his clothes. In other words, if you’re not comfortable with some of his character traits, you need to make a decision. Are these traits a deal breaker? Can you manage a relationship with him and his flaws without constantly nagging and being mad about the things you don’t like? If you opt to tolerate it, great! Do so without constant chatter and conversation on what you know won’t change. If you can’t deal with it, there is a strong possibility that he’s not for you.
It’s hard to accept that people don’t always treat you the way you treat them. Maybe they’re treating you the way THEY want to be treated. Or they’re treating you the way they know how to treat you. There’s always room for education, but know that every teachable moment is not a changing moment!
PAUSE ~ I’ve realized that sometimes the change you want to see in others is really a change you need to make in yourself. ~ PLAY
As women, some of us do a great job of multitasking and making our man feel like he’s number on the list; probably because he is. We do everything short of jumping up and down on one foot and barking like a dog (yes, like in the movie Coming to America) to making him feel like a king. Moreover, we do this with urgency. Women have the ability to work, cook, clean, wash the newborn baby, read a bedtime story to the 5-year-old, pay the bills, handle her business in the bedroom, and keep her hair tight all at the same time. We are a balancing act! Men, well, most have never heard of the term multitask. They just don’t know how to without breaking down. PAUSE ~ Hence the saying, “Behind every good man there’s a GREAT woman.” How the hell do you think he got it all done?! PLAY ~ Now here you are satisfying and completing all tasks. And you ask him to do one thing… He forgets, puts it off until he is ready and you just end up doing it yourself because you do not have time to wait for him. And now you’re pissed… after all, you do everything for him and with alacrity! You feel slighted and annoyed that he has not treated you the way you treat him. Right?
So I ask you this… What can you control here? YOU… and YOU only! Figure it out. Maybe some adjustments need to be made to make you feel better. If you are mad that YOU treat him one way and it’s not reciprocated, maybe YOU need to fall back a little. I am not telling you to stop taking care of your man nor am I telling you to be a nasty, angry woman. I am simply suggesting that you take care of you. And sometimes, taking care of you means not doing as much for others. Not because you can’t, but because it hurts you when you don’t get the same in return. I’d like you to also understand that you will not always be treated the way you treat others. Everybody ain’t you. Everybody doesn’t think like you. Everybody doesn’t act like you. Everything that is important to you is not important to others. And for the record, it is NOT always personal.
Take care of you… You’ll feel better in the long run.
Taking care of me!
XO~
PSM
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