• Celebrity
    • Daniel Kaluuya Digital Cover
    • Digital Cover Method Man
    • Digital Cover Zazie
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
    • If Not For My Girls
  • Fashion
    • ESSENCE Fashion House 2022
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weave
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Black History Month
    • ESSENCE Gift Guide 2022
    • ESSENCE + smartwater Live Well Challenge
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Dream & Plan with Confidence Prudential
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Homecoming Season 2022
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
  • News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Sponsors Recognition Page 2022
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Video
  • Festival
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Fest Videos
  • Events
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Girls United Summit
    • 2022 ESSENCE Fashion House
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • 2022 Homecoming Season
    • Wellness House
    • She Got Now
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • Power Tools
  • Studios
  • Girls United

WHERE BLACK WOMEN COME FIRST

Every day we're serving Black women deeply. Come get a plate of goodness! Sign up for daily content and exclusive offers you'll love!

Your email is required.
Your email is in invalid format.
Confirm email is required.
Email did not match.
By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and that you have read our Privacy Policy
Skip to content
SUBSCRIBE
  • MAGAZINE
  • NEWSLETTER
  • Celebrity
    • Daniel Kaluuya Digital Cover
    • Digital Cover Method Man
    • Digital Cover Zazie
    • Celebrity News
    • ‘Yes, Girl!’ Podcast
    • Entertainment
      • Paint The Polls Black
    • Black Celeb Couples
    • Celebrity Moms
    • Red Carpet
    • If Not For My Girls
  • Fashion
    • ESSENCE Fashion House 2022
    • Fashion News
    • Street Style
    • Accessories
    • Fashion Week
  • Beauty
    • Black Beauty Awards 2022
    • ESSENCE Hair Awards 2022
    • AVEENO Skin Health Startup Accelerator
    • Beauty News
    • Skin
    • Makeup
    • Nails
    • Girls United: Beautiful Possibilities
  • Hair
    • Hair News
    • Natural
    • Relaxed
    • Transitioning
    • Weave
    • 4C
  • Love
    • Love & Sex News
    • The Solve Podcast
    • Weddings
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
  • Lifestyle
    • Black History Month
    • ESSENCE Gift Guide 2022
    • ESSENCE + smartwater Live Well Challenge
    • Build Your Legacy 2022
    • Dream & Plan with Confidence Prudential
    • AMEX Platinum Travel
    • Homecoming Season 2022
    • Lifestyle News
    • Health & Wellness
    • ESSENCE Eats
    • Money & Career
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Travel
    • Food & Drink
    • Black Travel Guide
  • News
    • Paint The Polls Black
    • Sponsors Recognition Page 2022
    • Latest News
    • Raise Your Voice
    • Culture
    • Politics
  • Video
  • Festival
    • 2023 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Fest Videos
  • Events
    • 2023 ESSENCE Film Festival
    • 2022 Girls United Summit
    • 2022 ESSENCE Fashion House
    • 2022 Black Women In Hollywood
    • 2022 HOLLYWOOD HOUSE
    • 2022 Homecoming Season
    • Wellness House
    • She Got Now
    • Dear Black Men
    • I Am Speaking
    • Power Tools
  • Studios
  • Girls United
Home · News

On His Mind: Married and Faithful

Yes, he's married, but Damon Clark, 38, says that doesn't stop single women from hitting on him. Here the happily committed man explains why he'd never flirt with infidelity.
By · Updated October 29, 2020

I was in a department store when a gorgeous woman who was standing nearby asked if I had someone on the side. With my wedding ring in plain view, I told her no. Surprised, she responded, “You mean to tell me that you don’t fool around?” Although at that moment my flesh said, “I’d like to,” my spirit said, “You’ve lost your mind if you entertain this woman.” I had to ask myself, What would an affair do for me? The answer was simple: Ruin my family. So I paid for my things and went on my way. 

I’m used to encounters like this because a lot of women hit on me. I guess it’s because I’m easygoing and clean-cut and I carry myself well. Also I’ve been told that I have a very inviting spirit, so I have to be careful about my friendly demeanor. Sometimes it’s mistaken as a come-on. I have a comfortable, secure marriage. I’ve been with my wife for six years, and we have two wonderful children. She is probably the only woman who can deal with my being as outgoing as I am. She’s confident but humble. I love my family and I love what I have.

However, when we had our first child, I was weak. I actually thought about cheating on her. Once the baby arrived, her hormones changed and our lovemaking wasn’t what it used to be. I thought she didn’t want me anymore, and I felt neglected. I just needed some attention. Yes, I was too flirtatious during that period; I didn’t shoot down the suggestive behavior as quickly as I should have. 

I wasn’t physically unfaithful, but mentally I was. Fantasizing was as close as I came to stepping out on my marriage. Halfway through our rough patch, I admitted to my wife that I thought about cheating on her. She didn’t panic. We tackled it together. We turned to God and prayed day and night to keep our union strong, and after about a year things finally got better for us. 

But getting through that bad patch was tough because some women are so bold these days. They’ll throw themselves at a brother, and sometimes it’s quite a struggle to turn them down. I’ve been slipped phone numbers, and I have had women come up to me, squeeze my muscles, and tell me that they know my wife has a good time with me in bed. I’ve even had ladies approach me while I was out with my kids. They see me taking care of my children and they like it. I’m definitely flattered by the attention, and saying that I’m not attracted to some of these women would be a bold-faced lie. It’s a constant battle because there’s so much temptation. It’s almost like everyone has become desensitized to infidelity. 

I nip these flirtatious situations in the bud, so things don’t go any further. Right off the bat I tell women that I’m married. I’ve even told some, “If I cheat, it wouldn’t be because I want you, it would be because of lust.” Many of them often think they’re different, that they can change me and I’ll leave my family for them. That’s not the case. 

My wife knows she has a good brother, a man who does everything he can for his family. And she reminds me that if I cheat, I have to answer to God. I simply cannot ask for more than that. I don’t want to jeopardize what we have built for one night. It’s hard being monogamous, but if I stay on my knees and follow the Word, I won’t drift. I know that what these women are presenting to me is just an illusion. What my wife and I have is as real as it gets. Nothing compares to that.

Photo Credit: Ron Aira

COMPANY INFORMATION
  • Our Company
  • Customer Service
  • Essence Ventures
  • Change Your Address
  • Contact Us
  • Job Opportunities
  • Internships
  • Media Kit
  • tag
SUBSCRIBE
  • Newsletters
  • Give a Gift of ESSENCE
  • Magazine Tablet Edition
FOLLOW US
MORE ON ESSENCE
  • Home
  • Love
  • Celebrity
  • Beauty
  • Hair
  • Fashion
  • ESSENCE festival

ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc.

Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

©2023 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms

Get The ESSENCE Newsletter and
Special Offers delivered to your inbox

By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Get The ESSENCE Magazine
by subscribing below
subscribe now