California-based wife Fawn Weaver loves everything about being a married woman. Her husband Keith’s sincerity helped him stand out in a crowd of thousands when they first met, and ever since they tied the knot 11 years ago, she has been determined to change the tone of the conversation about marriage today from negative to positive.
News headlines often imply that marriage isn’t exactly for everyone and warn that nearly half of all unions are destined to fail, but Weaver knows first-hand that marital bliss can and does exist and she set off to prove it. “As a person who was perfectly happy single before I met my husband, I still highly recommend marriage,” she shares.
Weaver wants women worldwide to recognize that marriage can be beautiful and to learn how to have a fulfilling happy union all their own. She’s on a passionate mission to spread the love with her hot new book Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search For the Secrets Of a Great Marriage. To write the book she traveled to 12 countries and six continents interviewing happily married couples, with 20+ years of marriage under their belts, about their secrets to success. Weaver’s tremendous efforts have created a worldwide movement, as evidenced by the 700,000 members from 110 countries who are now part of her online community Happy Wives Club. And, the good vibes are still spreading—her book debuted on the New York Times Bestsellers list.
We’ve asked Weaver to personally introduce our readers to a few of the couples who most inspire her, but before we meet them, we first wanted a chance to get to know the woman behind this modern day love crusade a lot better—AKA, our latest “shero.” Say hello to the Weavers!
ESSENCE.com: Why did you choose each other to spend happily ever after with?
KEITH WEAVER: I chose Fawn as my wife because she was very comfortable with who she was. What I loved about her was that she is unique, confident, fun and funny. She is compelling. It was all very attractive. There are so many people who are trying to mold themselves to be like someone they think their future spouse would like to see or be with, so I knew pretty much instantly that she was the woman for me.
FAWN WEAVER: Wow. I should have gone first. (Laughs) I went to an event and there are all of these people there – dignitaries, well known people, etc. People kept gravitating to Keith, and I thought, what is it about this guy? Someone walked over and said to me, “He is the only one in this room with humility and character.” We were in a room with over a thousand people! I got that from him the moment we met. I knew from the second we had our first conversation that it was going to be real; there would be no pretend. I laid it all out on the table and he loved me for that. He didn’t want to change me. You have to be very confident as a man to be okay with a woman who knows who she is and then to support that. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that he is the nicest person you will ever meet and the wisest person I know.
ESSENCE.com: In the book, Fawn you list the 12 secrets to a great marriage. Which ones work the best for you two?
FAWN: The number one answer across the world was mutual respect, and we have so much of that for each other. There’s no one in this world I respect more than him. If President Obama said, “Come to dinner at the White House,” and Keith wasn’t available and asked me to go somewhere with him instead, you best believe I’m choosing Keith. He’s the person I trust the most. Also, laughter is the best medicine and we laugh all day long. We don’t always feel like we need to be doing something. We can sit in each other’s company for hours doing nothing and be happy with that. I think that’s a rare quality.
KEITH: I would say respect and the manner in which we communicate with each other. We are all nurtured differently and then when we come together with another person that we will spend the rest of our life with. The way you think about things is different. We are so similar in many areas but very different in a lot of other areas too. We try to really be attune to that and we talk to each other about how we see the world and what our individual dreams are and then forge a common plan and agenda together.
FAWN: I got a good man, don’t I? (Laughs)
ESSENCE.com: What makes your marriage special to you as individuals?
FAWN: That I have a best friend I am journeying with through life. I’m not alone. What I love about marriage is the permanence. There is no plan B. Divorce is not an option. Through the winding roads you’re not alone and Keith and I are currently on the scenic route. You can just be your must vulnerable and true self with each other and I think that’s so special.
KEITH: I feel the very same way. It’s like friendship on a whole other level and it’s that vulnerability that really makes it remarkable for me. We can have a conversation about anything and give truthful answers.
FAWN: If someone says something negative to me, I take it to Keith. He knows me the best. He may say the same thing but he’ll say it with love. it allows me to grow from it and to really flourish rather than becoming insecure or too hard on myself because of it.
ESSENCE.com: Fawn, you dedicated your book to Keith because his support helped you get through the process. Keith, what is something meaningful in your life that you’d dedicate or credit to Fawn’s love and support?
KEITH: I know that with her support I’m better. My employer should be just as pleased as I am that I have such a great partner. My contribution to my company and my industry is enhanced by the guidance and counseling I get from Fawn. Having that support professionally has been really enriching.
ESSENCE.com: What is the biggest obstacle you’ve had to overcome in your marriage, and how did you do it?
KEITH: Fawn and I have joked about this before, but we haven’t really had anything huge.
FAWN: It’s not that we haven’t had any obstacles, but we haven’t had any that pitted us against each other. Whenever we’re battling something, we come together to defeat the foes in our life. For us, every storm we’ve come across, we’ve hunkered down together.
KEITH: Also, we’re not dependent on “stuff” so much in our lives. For example, there was zero pressure for us on Valentine’s Day. Not just because we don’t celebrate the commercialized holiday, but also because we celebrate our love every day. I have this amazing gift in that my wife’s sensibilities are such that she’s absolutely cool with having a hamburger at a hamburger stand or going for a walk around our neighborhood. We’re happy either way.
FAWN: I just adore this guy!