Madea Opens Up

Tyler Perry may be looking for love, but his know-it-all alter ego, Madea, self-proclaimed expert on relationships, is happy by herself. Here, her thoughts on life with Tyler and her idea of a perfect date.

Essence: Madea, what do you think of Tyler’s success?

Madea: It’s all because of me, ’cause I’m sexy, and peoples like me.

Essence: Do you think Tyler is sexy?

M: He aiight. Sexy in my day was better-looking than that.

Essence: What’s it like to live with him?

M: It’s scary, because we look so much alike. Except I don’t have a beard. Sometimes. And he keeps trying to get me to put on a bra-just won’t leave me alone about it. I just tell him, “Go straight to hell.” These things? They were meant to be free. You didn’t ever hear about Eve puttin’ no figs over her breasts. No cross-yo-heart figs for Eve.

Essence: Is there any woman good enough for Tyler?

M: Yes, there is one good enough for him, but she died many years ago after giving birth to Jesus.

Essence: Do you have any love advice for Tyler?

M: Yes, I do. If his love for a woman is a mile long, make sure the prenup is five miles long. Can’t truss ’em-hell naw. Hell to the naw, as Whitney would say.

Essence: What about you, Madea, what’s your ideal date?

M: Some Doritos and a fresh pack of batteries.