R&B singer Kelly Rowland has had a phenomenal year. The singer has come into her own with her single, “Motivation,” watched her album, “Here I Am,” score big numbers on the R&B charts, and became the most known judge on U.K.’s “X Factor.”

But in the midst of all her career highs, it seems the singer still holds a heavy heart for one person in particular, her estranged 65-year-old father, Christopher Lovett, which caused her to break down while backstage at “X Factor.”

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She reveals in the January issue of Marie Claire U.K., “A couple of weeks ago, I was reading through a magazine and I saw a picture of him. I didn’t even know who it was until I read the caption. I completely lost it,” Rowland tells the magazine.

“My camp saw me disappear into the bathroom and they were like, ‘What happened?’ I didn’t know there was so much emotion still there,” she added. “You close so many different things of your life, and I like to shut them off and keep moving. But, in that moment, it just sucked everything out of me and I cried so hard.”

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Lovett, who struggled with alcoholism most of his life, sent her a letter earlier this year in hopes of reconciling. The singer has tried to forgive and forget, but as far as we know, the relationship is still a very strained one.

We hope everything works out between the two.