After years of not telling her side of the emotional ending to her marriage with Nas, Kelis finally broke down and revealed her truth in a video interview that’s gone viral. 

While opening up for the first time about their failed marriage, she shared, in detail, some of the highs and lows of their tumultuous relationship and spoke candidly about how their son–who she was pregnant with when she filed for divorce in April 2009–gave her the strength she never knew she possessed and the push she needed to move on.

“By the grace of God, that kid saved me,” the Harlem native told The Hollywood Unlocked of she and Nas’ 8-year-old, Knight. “I was pregnant and it was a mess and I felt like I wasn’t going to bring a child into this.”

After leaving the 44-year-old, the two entered a nasty custody battle over child support and visitation. As of March 2018, Kelis and Nas had agreed on joint legal and physical custody of their son, a holiday visitation schedule and child support, according to TMZ

Despite finding a legal middle ground, the 38-year-old said her ex is still attempting to do things his way by “show[ing] up when there’s a photo opp.” 

She added, “A parent isn’t about showing up when you feel like it. You can’t not show up for months and then show up and try to make up your own [visitation] schedule.”