Iyanla Vanzant Answers Your Questions
Hosea Johnson

Spiritual guru Iyanla Vanzant is pretty busy these days. Not only is her OWN show Iyanla, Fix My Life a hit, but she’s also ESSENCE magazine’s February cover star. Inside the issue, she shares ten ways readers can fix their own situations and get to happy.

Now Vanzant is doing one better for her legions of online fans — she took time from her schedule to answer questions submitted on Facebook by five lucky ESSENCE readers. Check out Vanzant’s responses below.

READER LESLIE J. GRIFFIN ASKS: I would like to know what it has meant for so many people to place their confidence in you with their most private issues, and where do you go when you need strength?
IYANLA VANZANT: It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putting their confidence in me. Instead, they are actually learning to trust themselves. My job is to affirm and support them in the process and teach them to do what I do when I need strength: I begin within.

READER SAMARIA WILLIAMS ASKS: How did you overcome the numb feeling you describe in your life-changing, phenomenal new book Peace From Broken Pieces?
VANZANT: I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.

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READER HATTIE WRIGHT HALL ASKS: What is your weakness in life? We all have them.
VANZANT: I really don’t have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, heal and evolve. Giving myself permission to rest is an area I am working on. Not rescuing my children and grandchildren is another area. Watching less television is a heated challenge right now because Top Chef, Project Runway and American Idol are all on.

READER CARMEN RENEE MCKINNEY ASKS: When are you making another CD? My son knew your name and face by that. I wore that CD out in the 90’s riding everywhere. 🙂
VANZANT: I don’t have any plans for one right now.

READER KARENA CLAY ASKS: I’m a single mom, I’m independent, I don’t need a man for anything. I want to need a man but my needs for a man are simply to fix my house and take me out every now and then. Men seem to be another responsibility instead of a help. I meet the most awesome men ever but then I get bored, I think. Is there hope for me to ever be married?
VANZANT: In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love, create and share intimacy, and open ourselves to be available and accessible to another human being in order to heal, learn and grow. From what you share about being independent and wanting a partner to meet your needs, it is not clear to me that you are willing to give. If that is the case, marriage may not be the most viable relationship option for you.

Get more wisdom from Iyanla in the February 2013 issue of ESSENCE magazine.