The holidays are here, and in most places, so is the cold weather. It’s the time of the year for fellowship with family, friends and loved ones. If you’re single, it’s also the season in which you hate being so. No one wants to be alone during the holidays so there’s a bit of a scramble on the single circuit to find someone to snuggle with on those cold winter nights and kiss under the mistletoe. Lonely or not, settling for someone you don’t really like might make you feel worse.
I had drinks with my single sister-friend in Chicago (my hometown) the other day while I was visiting the Windy City. She lamented about the fact that she’d spend another holiday season alone. Ironically, she’d dumped her boyfriend of three years on Thanksgiving two years ago. She didn’t regret leaving him because he was a bit of a deadbeat and completely wrong for her. However, she did miss having someone, especially during the holidays.
“I liked having someone to go around to the dinners and parties with…to my folks’ house,” she said. Last year, she wasn’t this sad about it, but time had proved to take its toll on her spirit. Even if you don’t feel lonely any other time of the year, you have to be pretty strong not to feel it during the holidays.
“Thought about calling Adam to see if he wanted to grab drinks,” she said. She dated Adam this past summer and his only redeeming qualities were that he was extremely handsome and, by her account, awesome in bed. Otherwise, his voice and personality were like fingernails on a chalkboard to her.
“Why would you do that, he gets on your damn nerves,” I asked? I went on to explain how using him just as an arm-candy escort was not going to fill her void and was a bit unfair to him. He really liked her. “You can’t fill an empty hole with air, sweetheart. You have to fill it with something of substance or it will remain unfilled.” Since there were no other date prospects on the horizon, I knew she had to look elsewhere.
“This might sound cliché, but I think you should really consider the point of the holidays. Sure, you don’t have a man, but look at what you do have…great parents, a son that loves you unconditionally and smart, gorgeous, intelligent, loving friends like me. You’re overflowing with people that love you. People would kill for a fraction of that,” I reminded as I grabbed her hand. “Plus, you get to be loose and kiss as many guys you want at Christmas parties. Blame it on the alcohol and mistletoe.”
My sister-friend laughed and got visibly excited about the prospect of kissing guys. She actually was a little loose from time to time. But, I liked that about her. “You’re right actually, most of the guys I’ve dated over the last two years have been headaches or crack heads. I wouldn’t want to share this time with any of those crazies anyway. But, I would like to have a lil’ chocolate present to unwrap on Christmas Eve.” Granted, but he didn’t have to stick around for dinner.
The holidays are a blessing! It’s a celebration for another full year of living. With that said, it can be extremely difficult for people who find themselves single. The best cure for those holiday blues is a focus on the true point, being thankful for life. So, if you’re feeling down, call up your best girlfriend, have a cocktail, unwrap a chocolate present, but by all means don’t get lost in the holiday shuffle.
Wishing you LOVE & CEASELESS JOY! Follow @NathanHWilliams on Twitter.