Dos and Don’ts of Dating
Do This, Don’t Do That
A fascinating study I once read said that the average woman will date approximately 127 men before she finds her Prince Charming. That seems like a daunting task, but dating is an inescapable part of our romantic journey. Those who know how to do it “right” will both enjoy and have a higher likelihood of lasting love. Here are the dating dos and don’ts…
Dressed to Impress
Don’t Dress Like You’re Going To Work or Going to Work A Pole — I thought this would go without saying, but show up to any restaurant on a weekend night and it looks like you’re at a convention of one sort or another. Do Dress Feminine — Find a happy medium between business wear and a Frederick’s of Hollywood outfit and you should end up looking conservatively sexy. The key is what’s referred to as your “golden mean” this is your waist to hip ratio. The key is 70%-accentuate this curve and you’ll look most attractive to men.
Scent of a Woman
Don’t Bathe In Perfume – No one should be able to smell you coming even if you’re wearing the finest French perfume.A good rule of thumb is to apply perfume and lotion to no more than three of the following areas — behind the earlobes, the base of the neck, between the breasts, the wrists and behind the knees. Do Invest in a Pack of Mints – Your breath should also smell good.One of the top date turn-offs reported by my male clients is bad breath. To gauge how your breath ranks, swab the back of your tongue and the inside of your cheeks with a cotton pad, then take a whiff.
Please and Thank You
Don’t Kanye The Wait Staff — “I’m gonna let you finish…giving us the specials of the day, but first give me a Ketel One and cranberry juice.” Rudely interrupting, being dismissive or demanding to your waiter or waitress (or other service providers) is not a good look. If you are arrogant in this arena, then it’s a pretty sure bet that you will be in others, too. Do Ask Yourself “What Would Michelle Obama Do?” —Showing consideration for others and treating them the way you would want to be treated is always #winning!
Don’t Turn The Date Into A Star Jones Interview — It’s about forging a connection not conducting an inquisition. Try and find subjects you are both interested in. Also remember not to fast forward to your predetermined wedding date and plans. Do Ask Open-Ended Questions — Let the conversation flow and be in the moment. To keep the conversation going naturally, ask questions that encourage conversational dialogue rather than ones requiring yes or no answers. For instance, “How do you prefer to spend your free time?” instead of “Do you play golf?”
Time For Dinner
Don’t Help Yourself To Your Date’s Plate — Even if his mac-n-cheese looks better than Grandma’s, resist the urge unless it’s offered.A better idea is to suggest sharing dishes before you order. This is a great way to bond. DoEat — Men don’t like it when a woman just picks at her food or orders a side salad for her entree nor do women feel engaged by a date that barely touches his plate. It’s pretty lonely to dine with someone and eat solo. Take pleasure in the meal and enjoy the company.
Sip on This
Don’t Get Wasted — Unless your date happens to be Gucci Mane, this is a real turn-off. Remember, you are trying to woo your date and burping into his ear while you repeat the same story is not going to have a “this should be the mother of my children” effect. Do Savor Your Beverages — Whether you choose to indulge in a top shelf Apple Martini or play it safe with a Shirley Temple, sip it slowly and thoughtfully rather than gulping down a series of rounds.
Something to Talk About
Don’t Talk About Unpalatable Topics — It’s great that your colon is clean, but no one needs to hear about the process on a date. Do Listen — So many people complain that their date didn’t remember what they said. Be sure to listen actively and give good eye contact. Remember to mix in a few nods when you’re staring, otherwise you will look like stalker.
Don’t Be a Yes (Wo)man — Stand your ground and let your date know how you feel about topics that are discussed. The point is getting to know one another. Most people enjoy intellectual argument, as long as you avoid insulting your date’s opinion. Do Keep an Open Mind — Just because he’s the president of the Clarence Thomas Fan Club, Don’t write him off (yet). We’re all a work in progress!
Let it Go
Don’t Forget that your new guy, Maurice, Isn’t your ex, Tyrone — Getting over your last breakup was hard because of all the trusts that were broken, but all guys aren’t the same.Projection is one of the top romance killers. Do Get the Code to his Cell Phone – Just Kidding! I’m just making sure you were paying attention! Your actions should support your words – when these are in line, the trust will follow.
Don’t Change Your Facebook Relationship Status After the First Couple of Dates – There are two sides to every date.You might have had a wonderful time and can’t wait to plan the wedding, but your companion may be on a slower track. The most successful marriages result from dating in a committed relationship for at least two years.Do Send a text after a great first date – It’s the morning after a fabulous date and you’re walking on air. Perhaps it’s too soon to call, but a short “I had a great time” text is the perfect way to show your interest without coming off as overeager.