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When You Breakup, Who Keeps Your Shared Friends?

The Kandi/Todd/Apollo friendship saga just got even more complicated, thanks to Nida's new fiancée. What would you do?


When longtime couples call it quits, deciding on who keeps your shared friends is a real problem. Can everyone still be cool? What happens when each of them moves on and new lovers are in the mix? Are they welcome?

These questions came to mind last night during the latest airing of Real Housewives Of Atlanta, when Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker were shocked to see Apollo Nida’s new fiancée, Sherien Almufti, swing by their new restaurant opening. Almufti arrived and said she came to support Nida’s friends on his behalf, since he’s still incarcerated and unable to be there in person.

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It sounds sweet enough at first, until of course, you remember that Nida is castmate Phaedra Parks’ ex husband, Burruss and Tucker are her friends, and Parks and Nida’s divorce is not yet final. Now things are awkward…and rightfully so. Burruss’ and Tucker weren’t pleased and were practically speechless when Almufti arrived, and things only got more awkward from there.

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When Nida called in to say hello, Burruss made her feelings known: “I’m just going to keep it real with you,” she told Nida. “I always thought you were a cool person. And of course us being cool with you has obviously turned into a whole bunch of drama with me and Phaedra. But at the same time, I feel awkward meeting your girlfriend — even thought you’re nice — y’all are just getting divorced. So it makes me seem like I’m trying to be messy.”

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We agree, Kandi. Messy doesn’t even begin to describe how tense things can get between exes when they try to share friends, and this is exactly why. How do you decide who comes to what event, and when? What if the exes are feuding and unable to keep it friendly, does that mean they get their friends every other weekend? Should friends have to choose? And what happens when your friends ex, who you’re still cool with, decides to bring their new love around, just as Nida has in this case?

See what we mean? There are just way more questions than answers when it comes to mixing old friends, old lovers and their new loves. How do you handle these messy situations?

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So, let’s break it down. Are you still cool with your close friend’s ex? And, is his new girlfriend or wife welcome too? For me, it’s quite simple: If my friend is cool with keeping her ex in the mix and seeing him around group activities, then so am I. But, if she’s over it, and she was my friend first, then it’s a no go. Case closed. Because….girl code!

Let’s talk about it!


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