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Digital Dating: 'Looking for Someone I Can Be With'

ESSENCE.com Relationships Editor Bobbi Misick relays another first date with a guy she can "vibe" with. Over brunch, they discuss their love of Spike Lee joints and their mutual disdain for their hometowns.
It was his profile that got my attention. Quickly browsing OK Cupid at one in the morning before heading to bed. The quick match landed me on Jared’s* page. He was “eh” cute. A little shorter that I’d hoped for, but his smile looked so sincere. His profile read, “I really would like to meet someone that I can be with.” It seemed to be an almost female honesty that I hadn’t read on any guy’s page before. Hell, I’m on OK Cupid and even I’m unwilling to admit that I’d “like to meet someone that I can be with.” Aside from all this, he loves Spike Lee (me, too!), can tell the difference between good and bad Mexican food (me, too!) and likes to ride his bicycle around Brooklyn (me, too!). Too tired to send him a message, I sent him a passive aggressive “wink” and headed to bed. Jared e-mailed the very next day with a little more information about himself (it turns out we grew up kind of close to each other in Florida) saying I seem like the kind of girl that he could “vibe” with. A few e-mails later and we’ve exchanged numbers and have made a date to have brunch. I decided to do it right this time — you know, meet during daylight hours — we met for brunch in my neighborhood one Saturday afternoon. As I suspected, 5′ 10″ does look shorter than it reads, but there was that sincere smile again in the flesh this time and big, black curls that lazily flop in front of his face. We spent our time chewing over fruit and both of our strong desires to escape the massive outlet malls, chain gas stations and restaurants and identical stucco houses that northern South Florida is so well known for. I made sure I was on deadline, so I wouldn’t end spending my whole afternoon with him. He walked me to my door and as I walked up the steps, I thought, Jared was right — we could “vibe” together. Since our date, I’ve been traveling quite a bit, but we’ve made plans to ride bikes/catch a free outdoor concert/visit a local art gallery/etc. While I’m not near sure if I have “met someone that I can be with,” I have at least met someone who I can “vibe” with. * Not his real name.