There are many red flags that can appear in a friendship, but one of the biggest ones to pay attention to is when a companion wants you to feel the way they feel about someone else. Having your girl’s back makes sense, but “If I don’t like her, you’d better not like her” energy feels a bit high school, doesn’t it?
This new season of RHOP has already felt extremely high school, though, so it makes sense: The pile-on of Stacey Rusch, this obsession with people needing to have others prove that they’re not “fake” or liars, and friends falling out over petty things. Now, I get the vibe that the treatment of Rusch is just how reality TV works. Drama has to be created, so you pick holes in people’s stories. But cast member Keiarna Stewart is just creating her own drama. And it’s wild to watch.
For the record, I think it’s good for friends to be straight up with their mates when they have an issue. And in a way, I can understand Stewart’s issues with Wendy Osefo. She basically wants her to show up more in their friendship, not just when the cameras are on. She wants her to know that some of her recent behaviors don’t feel like those of a friend. Because yes, seeing a friend at an event and asking them if they did their own makeup is shady, sure. But the other irritants, including Osefo not waving to Stewart while she was on stage at an event, not acknowledging her in the way she’d like, including in the middle of a conversation with Gizelle Bryant, felt like a reach. Either way though, had Stewart just found a gentle way to say, “I feel like I’m being brushed aside by you, and I’d like for us to change that,” she could get a lot further than how she’s been handling her grievances with Osefo. Because now they’re impacting a more important relationship.
That relationship is with the new cast member, Angel Massie, whom Stewart brought to the group. Shortly after her introduction, sis was quickly in the doghouse with Stewart because she didn’t have the reaction that was expected to Stewart’s growing resentment towards Osefo. But Massie just wanted her to acknowledge that perhaps Osefo didn’t let her know she was coming to the same event as her at the last minute because she’d spent the day worried about her kids, who were supposedly sick that day. Massie asked Stewart if she’d asked Osefo how her kids were doing when they saw each other, and while Stewart couldn’t receive it, her longtime friend doubled down, albeit politely: “All I’m saying is not to judge what she may have had going on with [her] kids.” For the record, Massie is a parent, Stewart isn’t just yet.
“I was confused,” Stewart recalled when talking about the moment with Bryant. “Are you on my side or Wendy’s? Aren’t you my friend of 20 years?”
When Bryant asked if Massie took up for Osefo, Stewart replied, “She had kind of chimed in on the mama bear part. We had to do a little chin-checking on that for two seconds at the event. I’m not wasting no time getting you together because are you crazy? Is you cool?”
You know what was actually “crazy” though? When Bryant brought up the comments at Massie’s sound healing event shortly after, Stewart said she couldn’t recall saying “chin-check.” When Bryant continued to call it out, so as not to look like she was lying, Stewart apologized for possibly saying it.
Being a good friend, though, Massie still didn’t believe that “chin-checked” was said. Stewart is her friend of more than 20 years. Why would she believe these women? She didn’t believe it until she went on a shopping outing with Bryant, Osefo, and fellow new cast member Tia Glover. While there, she remarked that in a private conversation, Stewart again said she didn’t recall using that language, but Bryant, stunned, made it clear she absolutely did. A hurt Massie called out how much of a problem this development was in their relationship. She also threw a little shade in the process, noting that because Stewart had been in a physical confrontation two seasons ago, where she ended up with a gash in her head courtesy of a glass swung by Ashley Darby’s former friend, it was surprising that she would even talk so lightly about violence. (Bad idea to say that around women she doesn’t know like that, right?)
And so, it was brought back up at Stewart’s Black-Eyed Susan Day party two days later. This happened when Bryant called out the fact that Stewart (after throwing shade at Osefo again about their simultaneous Black Eyed Susan parties) once again denied the “chin-check” comment. She finally admitted to saying it, offering a dry apology to Massie. In return, Massie apologized if her friend of 20 years ever felt like she didn’t really have her back. That loyalty was interesting to Osefo, who said the energy she had was not the energy she displayed during the shopping outing. Stewart, hearing of all that was discussed in her absence, in her annoyance, got her friend together in front of everyone:
“You have the right to feel however you feel. As your friend, I’m going to give you that in good faith that I understand how this can get heightened,” Stewart said, alluding to the instigations of her cast mates. “But whatever chat that was that y’all had, I hope that’s the last.”
Excuse me?
Massie would continue to try and defend herself, with Stewart flipping things further upside down by asking her if she actually liked Osefo in front of the TV personality. Massie ended up clashing with Osefo from there.
Honestly, it was all really odd. And controlling.
It’s been only three episodes, and Stewart has been confrontational in each one. It’s like she’s trying to prove that she’s a big boss now, and therefore she’s setting ground rules with how people get to treat her. Particularly, the people who are supposed to be nearest and dearest to her. The problem is, it’s not translating well.
It’s also hypocritical. You have to be a good friend to me, according to what I say, makes a good friend, or it’s hell to pay? That’s not fair. And Massie was trying to be a good friend. Stewart was irritated with Massie about her assumed support of Osefo, but all she wanted to do was give her BFF a different perspective to consider. And she turned around and went and talked about her “friend of 20 years” with Bryant, like she was a Benedict Arnold, using language that did indeed give the perception that she physically wrangled her friend for even thinking of playing devil’s advocate for Osefo. Not to mention, she tried to walk back the “chin-check” controversy, and after feigning for a second time that she didn’t say it, gave an annoyed apology saying, “You took offense to that. Just so we’re clear, I said it. I apologize, Angel, if I offended you in that moment.” But honestly, a good friend shouldn’t just hype you up 24/7, fanning the flames of your anger. Sometimes it’s good to tell the truth: Maybe it’s not always that deep.
Be wary of friends who act like their grudges are the only ones that matter in a relationship. They can treat you in any way while expecting unwavering support, and that’s not realistic. You are entitled to think for yourself. And if a friend doesn’t agree with your perspective, they can tell you, and you can squash it. But Stewart “heightened” her own situation by talking about her BFF with people she should have known she couldn’t fully trust. It was a risky move that didn’t pay off.
And Massie would continue to be embarrassed for her faithfulness — during the store outing, when she was put in her place at the Black Eyed Susan event, and when Osefo told her she should use her cotton dress to wipe Stewart’s face when she spilled some champagne, since they were supposed to be such long-lasting friends. Is this what you get for supporting your girls?
Again, I have liked Stewart. I think she’s a beautiful, successful woman who isn’t afraid to speak up for herself. All of the women have a penchant for calling things and people out, so she’s not completely out of step. But you have to know when to reel it in. The harshness with which she talked to her best friend, like a mom disciplining her child, her continuous call-outs of Osefo, and her brewing beef with Rusch feel a bit much so soon into the series.
Lastly, can I just say this? There’s something about the way that these reality TV personalities change when they go from a guest or “friend of the show,” or even a newbie, into a settled-in main cast member. Style changes. Energy changes. There’s a pretentiousness that begins to show itself as folks get more comfortable. What made Stewart a great addition was that she was bubbly, warm, and a devoted friend. She took things in stride. She could take it, but she could definitely dish it, too. Overall, she was easygoing — easy to smile, laugh, and ready to have a good time. And while folks may have a lot to say about that physical altercation she found herself in, she was defending former cast member Candiace Dillard and her perceived friend, Osefo, in the process. She also stood 10 toes down for cast member Karen Huger as she endured her legal troubles. Stewart can be a good friend, and good TV at the same time. So what is this?
What she’s showing right now is Negative Nancy. It’s giving my way or the highway (or a check of your chin). It’s an abrasiveness that makes you furrow your brow and wonder, What did I miss? But I’m rooting for her. Coming on strong is not the same as, you know, using your children, your mentally ill estranged husband, and side boyfriend for a storyline, like Mia Thornton did. And she’s not wrong. Osefo doesn’t feel that invested in their relationship and hasn’t appeared that way for the last two seasons. So my fingers are crossed that she can mend the friendships that really matter and serve her, mainly her connection with Massie, figure things out with her man Greg, and pick the best battles to fight, because right now, it’s not good TV. It’s draining.