While longtime lovers may have all their Valentine’s Day plans in order, anyone newly dating could be going on a first date tonight. With first dates come lots of nerves, anxiety and questions. To be honest, it can be a lot. So, we called in the help of relationship expert and dating coach Stacii Jae Johnson, author of Date, Girl! 143 Reasons Why I Believe Women Should Date Multiple Men. Johnson’s known for her sassy and relatable dating style and she’s just the woman to get you through any first date drama you expect to encounter tonight. Read on for some easy tips from her dating bag of tricks.
Tap Into Some Positive Feminine Energy
“We have a lot that we go through as women, and before we enter a date, we seem to sometimes take that stuff into the date with us,” says Johnson. “So I say, before you see your date, a trick might be to get you connected to your feminine energy. We walk in bringing all of the talk with our kids or work or whatever into the date, but what I tell my girls to do is imagine a flower in mid bloom. However beautiful that flower is, really take that flower with you and carry that energy of that flower when you walk into that date. And keep that flower image with you the entire night. It softens up all of that angst that we were bringing in. It stops it and makes us connect to something else so that then we’re present in the date.”
Let Him Do It!
If you feel like you’re doing a lot in the name of love, you might just be. ”So many women overcompensate by doing too much because they figure, if I do a lot, girl, he’s gonna know I’m interested in him,” says Johnson. “If I’m doing a lot. Well that’s the wrong thing. Men like doing things, so let him do the things for you to make you happy.” But beware of men just putting in work for one thing and one thing only, Johnson warns. “If he’s interested, and I’m talking about genuinely interested, not somebody who wants to sleep with you, initially he is going to do the things that make you happy. The trick to knowing if he’s interested is to let him do it ladies. Just be – be flirty, confident, sexy, intelligent, but not a know it all. [Don’t try to control everything.] Let him do the work.”
“Lean in while you’re being engaging, just slightly,” says Johnson. “Just a little. You know, confidently lean in, and if he leans back in as you’re talking, then that lets you know. It’s a good sign.”
Fight Off The Fatigue!
“This is a quirky one, but it totally works, you just gotta get into it,” says Johnson. If you’ve had a long day, and you’re taking that energy in, imagine ice-cold water dripping down your back. It makes you more alert if you’re tired. And if you do that, it makes you more alert and then it makes you more engaging mentally when really all you want to do is be drinking a glass of wine on the couch with your onesie on. But still, you’re engaged. “
Look For The Signs That Matter
For some women, post-date intimacy can be plus. If that’s what’s on your mind, and you’re wondering how much generosity he has to give in bed, Johnson has a simple trick for that too. “Ladies, a trick to knowing if a man is more ‘giving’ in bed without the whole sex talk is over the course of getting to know him he shares or does at-least 3 out of these 5: 1. Licks his lips more than 4 Times during Date (LL Cool J style) 2. If he says he was breast-fed as a baby 3. A Southern boy. 4. He gives you his last bite of food 5. He makes eye contact when you all talk (not staring), but he’s genuinely engaged into what you are saying.
Staci Jae Johnson
Want more tips? Sign up for Johnson’s virtual dating class here.