Though I am making light of this, it’s true that every man you meet has a motive. When you allow yourself to embrace this reality it will help to open your mind to what the true intention behind what seems to be just dinner and a movie. Some men you come across will have motives that are self-serving and others will pursue you with all sincerity. They key for you is to realize that a motive is always present and for you to proceed from there.
How a man approaches you can say less about you and everything about him. The focus of his eyes and even his hands during your first interactions often give away his true desires. Take control from the outset.
When you first met him seem like an eternity ago. Nowadays people not only exchange phone numbers, but Twitter and Facebook usernames too. I say embrace it as a way to further get to know who a man really is. If he tells you one thing, but is consistently flirting and tweeting sexual innuendos to women connected to his social networks, well…
Full disclosure: I have been guilty of sending a few mass “Good Morning Beautiful” texts. This is how I know. Should you wake up to a Good Morning text with nine other numbers attached to the message that’s your SIGN that you ain’t that special. He isn’t sincere in his pursuit of you; keep it moving.
If sex is the only form of intimacy that he shows interest in, please know that he is not genuinely interested in you. True interest is shown when a man opens himself up to you and lets you into his world. He may not JUST want sex, you could be good company or maybe you can cook. But if he doesn’t let you in, he doesn’t want you in. The writing is on the wall.
Remember that “outside eye” I mentioned in the beginning. Let one of your [trusted] girlfriends have a crack at him. Invite him out for a group outing where he can interact with some of your friends. Often times a close friend can pick up on things that you are oblivious to. Also if he is always trying to keep you separate from friends and family, it could be a sign he has shameful intentions.
I’ll be the first to admit I am terrible with birthdays. But if he can’t remember the little things, such as your favorite wine, or favorite restaurant or something as simple as whether you like scary movies, something is wrong. He is either occupied with others, or not overly interested in extending any effort your way. If that is the case, he doesn’t really want you.
If you’ve been dating for some time and he doesn’t even remotely mention you when speaking of the future, take note. He isn’t planning on you being around for long. Toys are something men grow out of when they tire of them. Whatever we come to treasure, we hold dear and take with us as we travel through life; make sure that you are the latter.
If he’s always trying to offer you alcoholic drinks, he is most likely trying to get you loose. He wants your judgment to be off slightly with the hope that sex will be the outcome. Happy hours often lead to happy endings. If that’s not what you want, don’t accept his offer to “just meet up at the bar.”
Love cannot be rushed for you or him. People lie and your emotions can mislead you at times. Time, however, will always paint a clear portrait of what is true. Allow time to show you who he really is and what his motives are, then decide if he is what you want after all.
Let’s talk some more. Keep up with me on IfMenAreDogs.com or find me on Twitter.