Media diva Abiola Abrams is one of the stars of VH1’s latest dating show “Tough Love,” which helps six very single ladies overcome their pitfalls in love. The house’s resident, “Ms. Picky” Abrams, 32, represents for all the sisters with high expectations and long lists of what we want from a good man. The chocolate beauty shares her newly acquired dating insight exclusively with ESSENCE.com in these ten useful tips:
Compiled by: Demetria L. Lucas
1. Refrain From Judging Him
“I learned a lot about dating from the show. Now I’m less judgmental and way more open.”
“Single people tend to isolate. When I broke up with my ex-husband, I cut off all of my married friends because I felt like I had no longer related to the marriage/children thing. But even as adults, we need role models to have positive relationships mirrored in front of us.”
“I wanted to get married before I was 30 and that’s a big mistake we as women make. We have deadlines [for marriage]. I married someone who I’d been dating throughout my entire twenties. We looked great together on paper. He was a gorgeous Ivy League graduate. Three months in, the marriage went downhill.”
“My wedding was picture-perfect. It was at the Ritz Carlton in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Seventy of our friends came out and it was filled with Black high society. But it wasn’t real. His heart wasn’t where; my heart was. The marriage was so short that it was annulled.”
“I’ve had a lot of Black men tell me that they’re in high demand. Successful, attractive brothers who have it going on feel like they are in demand, so why should they commit? Too many Black women think the man is the prize and don’t think of themselves as such. That’s an unfortunate reversal. Both people have to feel like the prize.”
What dating don’t tips do you have to add? Share with us below.