Intimacy Intervention: Help, We’re Too Loud In Bed!

You’ve seen Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams give love, dating and self-esteem advice on the CW’s Bill Cunningham Show and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV, and now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention, like, now? Just ask Abiola!

Dear Abiola,
I live in Harlem, N.Y., and I’m proud to say I finally found a good man. He is loving, supportive, generous, and honest — everything a woman would want. We’re even talking marriage. Our only problem is kind of embarrassing. The loving is so good that we’re both super loud in the bedroom. No one has said anything yet, but I swear the neighbors are looking at me funny now. In NYC, we live in close quarters, and now I feel too embarrassed to face my elderly neighbors at the apartment mailbox. What should I do?

Signed,
Loud But Loving It

My Dearest Darling LBLI,
I live in Harlem, too. (Wait — that was you?) Just kidding, Cookie. Your problem is an enviable one, but I can see why you may be a brown girl blushing. First, send everyone on your floor and in the apartments above and beneath you a small box of Godiva chocolates with a card. Of course the card won’t say, “Sorry for disturbing you with my steamy love affair.” Write something like, “Happy Valentine’s Day! I appreciate you as my neighbor.” That should soothe any ruffled feathers.

Next, take a proactive approach. Your neighbors have the legal and moral right to a noise-free environment. Invest in music studio style soundproofing for your boudoir. You can even buy soundproof curtains now. Check your local hardware or bed and bath store for more information. You should also consider maybe investing in a “white noise” machine of some kind to go under the smooth sounds of some Robin Thicke or Marvin Gaye tunes.

And, when you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level with your paramour, I suggest a private, unattached house. Congrats on reaching new heights with your amorous pursuits in a healthy relationship.

Passionately yours,

Abiola

Abiola Abrams is the founder of The Bombshell Academy blog, online school and web series over at AbiolaTV. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week’s hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.