What He Wants More of In Bed

Tell Me What You Want

We’re all about feeling empowered and getting what we want in the bedroom, right? Well, believe it or not, feeling empowered includes a willingness to please your man, ladies. If they’re handling their business there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be handling ours. So we asked a few honest and open guys what they want more of between the sheets. And, as we suspected, it all comes down to feeling confident and open when the lights go down…

Talk to Me

“For me, I’d like more open and honest conversation. I don’t think women really express what it is they want. That would be kind of cool if women would just step up and say this is what I like and this is how I want it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be with your man, you could talk to your girlfriends. For me a lot of women say, ‘Oh my girlfriends would be so shocked if they knew I did this or that.’ If women would talk to their girlfriends they may find out, ‘Oh she likes to use vibrators too.’ or ‘Oh she likes sexting too.'” —Haashim, Atlanta

Pick Up the Speed

“The single biggest thing for me is women understanding the way men’s bodies are hardwired. Men are stupid to understanding foreplay and the amount of foreplay a woman needs and what it takes to build arousal. It’s lost on a lot of men. I think in a similar way women don’t look at that rapid pleasure that’s more geared towards men. There’s a time and a place for the epic session. And there are times when men’s bodies are all kinds of abrupt and simple and I think women being open to variations of how rapid sex should be [would be great]. Men’s bodies are different and the man may sometimes take a side of, ‘You know, you could probably solve that in about five to ten minutes.'” —John, San Francisco

Loading the player...

More, Please

“I want oral sex more frequently. I think women are a little spoiled. I grew up with the mentality that If I don’t make her happy I’m a a sucker. I was taught that to have sex, you’ve got to go down on your woman. I haven’t had sex without starting with oral sex in forever. I think women are taught differently, like it’s something they just to do if you’ve been a good boy or it’s your birthday. I want it every time we have sex and I want it at times when it’s not just foreplay as a special treat. In culture you see women on TV shows like ‘Real Housewives,’ saying things like, ‘Oh I don’t do that.’ If you saw a bunch of guys doing that, women would burn down the castle.” —Pete, Queens, NY

Pump It Up

“Well, basically there is a lack of energy and participation from a lot of women. We hate when you just lie there and if you’re too quiet, it’s creepy. We can’t tell if you’re enjoying it if you make no sounds. Also, we really like it if you tell us what you like and ask us to do it. Also, as dumb as it sounds, it’s hot for a woman to describe what is already happening, almost like a sports commentator, like, ‘You’re doing this to my that.’ Overall the more the woman puts into it and communicates, the better. And when a partner can’t roll with things as they are happening — like if you don’t want to get messy — it kind of kills the mood. I mean, it’s sex, right?” —C.B., Brooklyn, NY

Gotta Have Skills

“I think I would like better skill at sex. I have to educate or guide some women along. I would say the best way to get more skill is to practice. Get instructions from your partner. If you have one partner and that partner isn’t being as communicative, then you have to do your research. Read about it or watch some adult film. Watch some other women giving oral sex. Watch some other women’s riding techniques. You may need to practice on a toy. I think a lot of people look at sex as defacto. They don’t look at sex as something that’s a part of the rest of their lives. Everything you do, as far as what you eat to much water you drink or how much you work out your core factors into sex. Having an active lifestyle also increases your sexual desire.”—Weldon, Oakland, California