You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…

Dear Dr Sherry,
I am in a marriage that has been over since our separation in 2009. I have asked my estranged wife to divorce me for the past eight years, but as of today, she has not. Why is she holding my life up for ransom but doesn’t want to divorce me? I want to move on and be happy. I think that I deserve to move on and be with a woman who will truly love me, but I can’t do that due to her unwillingness to agree to divorce. What do I do? Why won’t she set me free if she no longer loves me?

Please give me advice on how to do the right thing and move on.

Thank you,

A man ready to move on

Hi There, 

Why are you waiting to be set free? Free yourself! If you really want to be free, no one can hold you hostage. You do not have to wait on your wife to file for a divorce, you can file. In fact, you do not have to beg her to sign the papers. It is as simple as getting a lawyer to serve her divorce papers. Given that you have been separated since 2009, I have to wonder if there is more to your story. I am having trouble understanding why you are asking and waiting for her to divorce you. I am sure she must have her reason for not wanting a divorce. Regardless of her reason, you must be honest with yourself and know what is your reason. You deserve to be happy but you have some unfinished with your wife. It is going to hard to move forward dragging old emotional baggage. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to understand why you have not put a closure to issues with your wife. It you are ready to move on, put your life in drive and leave the past behind. –Dr. Sherry 

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