You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
My boyfriend moved in with his child’s mother about a year and a half into our relationship. When we met, he was having financial hardships and I wasn’t aware of everything until some time had passed. He was pretty much homeless and living with different relatives. I later found out that his child and his child’s mother were living with different relatives as well. I didn’t find out they had found a house together until I saw him at a house that I can look out my front door and see. Ironically, they moved up the street from me.
When I asked him if he was living in the house with the mother of his child, he said no. Because I knew he lying, we argued and he finally admitted that she lived in the house too. He said the reason for his living situation is because he didn’t want his son or himself to be homeless and he couldn’t afford a place by himself. Because his child’s mother was also looking for somewhere to live, they moved in with family to make it easy on them and their son. He swears they are not together and that the whole situation is because of circumstance. It’s been 3 years since he and I got together and I haven’t met his family including his son.
I feel like he is keeping me a secret from them because they are under the impression that they are still together. My question is should I believe him or am I just the foolish other woman? It really hurts because I want to leave him alone but I stay because I’m just not certain of what’s going on.
Am I Now The “Other Woman?”
I hate to be the one to tell you but you have indeed been the ” foolish other women”. It is likely that your boyfriend has been with his child’s mother during your entire relationship. He did not just wake up one day and move in with her without being in a relationship. To add injury to insult, he moved down the street from you and did not have the decency to tell you. This was not an issue about his child or one of finances. Why would there be a need to keep it secret if they were not in a relationship? It is no coincidence that after three years, you have not met his family nor been around his son. Do you really question if you should believe him when he says they are not together? What has he done to earn your trust? He moved in with her within two years of being with you and still remains. What more evidence do you need to tell you and remind you that you are the other women? It is your choice if you choose to remain in that role. If you really want to leave him, you can no longer use the excuse that you don’t know what is going on to stay. If you want more in a relationship, do not settle for less. –-Dr. Sherry
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