You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Hi Dr. Sherry,
I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with a guy for a little over a year now. The most recent time we broke up, about five months ago, he became really close to my best friend of eight years, who I had introduced him to before we broke up. He and I recently got back together and we love each other very much, but I feel as though he cares more about her than me. He is always defending her, even though he claims he isn’t. He says he’s “on my side” but he always points out that I handle situations as it pertains to her in the wrong way.
Lately, he also always wants to hang out with her, even if I say I want a day with just me and him. If she’s at all upset, bored, or wants anything at all, he automatically jumps to her rescue. He will buy her food, spend money on her that we really can’t spare and even walk two miles just to see her. She has her own family that she lives with and it should not be the responsibility of myself or my boyfriend to take care of her.
I’m starting to resent my boyfriend and my best friend for this ridiculous relationship they have. What should I do?
-Insecure and Unsure
I agree that it is indeed ridiculous! But what is really ridiculous is the fact that you are still dealing with his guy. You may love him but he is not showing you any love or respect. It is apparent that he and your friend are still in a relationship. Anytime a man will walk two miles to see a woman or buy her food and give her money, he is definitely involved with her. This is much more than a mere friendship. I understand what he is getting from her but I don’t understand what you are gaining by being a part of it. This women is really not your friend, especially a “best friend”. It is time to decide how long you are willing to be used by both of them. You can not control either one of them but only yourself. To remain with him is a choice. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to understand why you have remained in the relationship this long. If you want more, do not settle for less. –Dr Sherry
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