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Ask Dr. Sherry: Is It Wrong To Date My Best Friend’s Brother-In-Law?

A woman who’s worried about gaining a boyfriend but losing a friend, asks Dr. Sherry for help.

You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages, keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…

Q: I am 35 years old and have become good friends with my best friend from high school’s brother-in-law. He has made it clear that he’s interested in me, but I have refused to pursue the relationship, despite my feelings, because I’m concerned about the effect it will have on my relationship with her. (Especially if things don’t work out between him and I.) Do you think it’s in bad taste to date my best friend’s in-law? Or am I just paranoid? — Tanisha

Hi Tanisha! No, it is not a bad idea for you to date your best friend’s brother-in-law. Both of you are adults and should be able to have a relationship based on how you feel about one another instead of how other people may feel. Unfortunately, women often allow other people to influence whom they date, and as a result, they risk missing out on love that could have been. It sounds like you and your best friend’s brother-in-law are genuinely interested in one another, so why be concerned with what may or may not happen in the future?

Remember, your relationship with your best friend is a different relationship than your relationship with her brother-in-law. Dating your best friend’s brother-in-law only becomes a bad idea if you allow everyone to have input on your relationship and it becomes a family affair. You must put boundaries in place upfront. Do so by having an honest and open communication with the person you are going to date.  You also have to have an honest conversation with your best friend. Just because he is her brother-in-law, that should not interfere with your relationship with him. In fact, if things work out, it could be a lot of fun if you all share the same interests. My bottom line suggestion is to go for it! Dr. Sherry

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