You've seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it's your turn to sit in her chair...
Hi Dr. Sherry,
I have a wedding dilemma. My boyfriend of four years and I just recently got engaged and we've been brainstorming wedding ideas. The subject of the ceremony has come up and he asked me something that I hadn't thought of before: Are we going to jump the broom? It might seem like an innocent question but the problem is that my fiancé is White. Keep in mind, he's very supportive and encourging when it comes to embracing my culture, so I'm not suprised to hear his suggestion.
What does concern me is that my family will have a huge issue with me doing this Black wedding tradition (one that has a slave history) with a White man. While my mom has been supportive, I've had issues in the past with some of my cousins and aunts who have said negative things to me about my interracial relationship. Unfortunately, not inviting the negative members of my family isn't an option.
Would it be weird or uncomfortable for people to see us doing that? The last thing I want is for there to be family drama on what's supposed to be the happiest day of my life.
You are right, your wedding day should be the happiest day of your life. This is your day and the only thing that matters is what you want. If you want to jump the broom, jump the broom! There is no law or rule that says that “white men can’t jump!” Don’t worry about what others may think. This a decision for you and your soon to be husband. The issue sounds as if it is deeper than just the wedding ceremony. You are entering an interracial marriage and must get prepared for how the two of you are going to respond to others. Trust me, there will be many people with comments and those that do not agree with your marriage. If you get caught up in what others think or feel, your marriage will be in trouble before it starts. You must have some honest conversations with your fiancé and your family. Once the two of you agree on the wedding ceremony and other issues, you must present with a united front. I recommend that you seek couples therapy to process challenges you are facing. Remember, you and your fiancé must decide how your marriage is going to be with or without the support of others. Congratulations! --Dr. Sherry
Email us your questions for Dr. Sherry now and be sure to include "Ask Dr. Sherry" in the subject line.