There’s a saying that “Nobody owes you anything.” The idea is that your path to success, or failure, is your own, and one shouldn’t be entitled, expecting that others will do for you simply because they can. It makes sense and is a great self-motivator. But it gets a bit complicated within a parent-child relationship.
Of course, if you bring a child into the world, it is your responsibility to provide for them. To feed them, to clothe them, to provide shelter and safety. Our offspring do not ask to be in this world, so to bring them into it and expect them to fend for themselves would be cruel. But is the sense of responsibility still there when they’re adults? Should it be?
Simone Whitmore‘s son Michael seems to think so. The 22-year-old son of the Married to Medicine star and Cecil Whitmore is set to start law school in 2026. While enjoying a family dinner during Sunday night’s episode, which he and his brother, Miles, put together for their parents, Michael brought up the need for a new car after his Jeep, given to him in high school, was not so “cool” anymore. In return, Simone came back with numbers she’d pulled to show the kind of money he was spending, which made it difficult for her to agree to buying him a new car. Specifically, he’d spent $60,000 in one year on his Chase credit card, which, as a childless, not-paying-for-school college student, is…ridiculous, obviously. When she followed up to ask what his plans were for funding his law school education next year, he was under the impression that she would handle it.
“I do have a mother who makes pretty good money,” he said, very serious.
“I don’t think I should be footing the bill for anything other than the roof over your head, that sort of thing,” she replied. She supplied Michael and Miles with a condo to live in while they were in college, by the way.
From there, Cecil hopped in, but not to back his wife. He tried to frame it as though Michael would get no support, until she jumped back in to make clear that she was the only person at the table with a doctorate, a graduate degree, and that she paid for it on her own through scholarships and loans. He could certainly do the same.
“Your mom was not able to do for you the things you’re able to do for us,” Michael said, showcasing genuine confusion while also delivering a guilt trip. He went on to speak about white parents with the financial means who pay for their kids to go to school, and then the children finish their education and are successful. Millionaires even. She countered, “What about all the white people who pay for their kids to go to school, be debt free, and they still ain’t doin’ sh-t?”
Cecil sipped his drink and didn’t say anything until he came back around to remind her that they are indeed blessed to be able to help him. But Simone said such responsibilities complicate her ability to look toward retirement, and the expectation that she would just continue to foot the bill, having to work hard to continue to do so, because she supposedly could, was unfair.
“If I’m dead before he finishes law school, then what!?” she said, her temper flaring.
“That can happen because God may take you away!” Cecil replied.
Michael then had the audacity to say he was “done” with the conversation. From there, Cecil and Simone ended up arguing, with her noting that he doesn’t support her in moments like this, that it’s always three-on-one in their home. And from there, she crashed out.
“The bottom line is you are so f–king entitled is what this revealed to me,” she said, shouting at Michael. “I’m done! I don’t owe you a motherf–king thing from here! I have given you everything I have!”
It sucks to be a Black woman breadwinner. I think it’s a wonderful thing when Black parents have the means to provide an easier, better life for their children. The ability to pay for education, to practice nepotism, is significant. But there has to be limits, and despite what people may say, it’s never too late to set those boundaries. Simone may have provided a condo for the boys to stay in, and given Michael the credit card to pay for what he needed while he was in undergrad, but I see nothing wrong with her telling him that it’s time for him to step up and figure out this next chapter of additional education and car buying. He is indeed entitled to have seriously considered that she would be his way to pay for a law degree, and not have mentioned a desire to help pay, take out a loan, apply for a scholarship, or anything to assist. And he was discourteous, because once the conversation didn’t go the way he wanted, he tried to shut it down, which was not his place whatsoever when speaking to his parents.
Such behavior is all the more reason he needs to foot some of his own bills and find his way. Providing blindly creates individuals who feel betrayed when you choose to give them a high-five instead of help when they have their hand out. And while they shouldn’t be left to completely collapse, it builds character to have to hustle like everyone else. Actress Taraji P. Henson once said she made her son sit out his first semester of college so he could work a job and build some tenacity.
“Even though he is privileged, he doesn’t remember the bad times when we were eating Hamburger Helper and peanut butter and jelly for dessert,” she said in 2012. “He remembers all the good times, and I don’t want to raise this privileged kid, who’s out of touch, so I made him sit out the first semester, and he has to get a job. He called his grandmother, he was like, ‘It’s hard out here, it’s hard to find a job.’ So I was like, ‘Yeah, I need you to know that.'”
She added, “I need him to see how real it is out here. It builds character. I told him, ‘College is like an investment. I’m investing my money in your future, and if I feel like you’re a bad investment, I’m taking my money back.”
Henson made that choice on her own as a single parent. Simone, however, was supposed to have the support of Cecil in her stance. The fact that he only seemed to validate Michael’s views while Simone stood on her own was absolutely wild. That is the major reason, it seems, that the conversation ended so poorly. Her voice was raised once he tried to remind her that they were blessed to be able to provide for their children in a way that others couldn’t after she spoke with her heart on her sleeve about feeling like no one cared that she was working her a– off for them and couldn’t see to her own needs.
His decision to play devil’s advocate for only one side was not only disrespectful to her but also another example of the way they have coddled their sons. Michael could speak for himself. He could think for himself. He certainly can do all of that and more if he can spend $60k in a year. Say what you want about her use of expletives (seems like something they’re all used to, though), Cecil’s interruptions turned the conversation upside down. Perhaps, since he’s so for parental support, he can foot the bill?
In the end, as Simone noted, she wants Michael, and seemingly all the men in her home, to understand the value of money she is bringing in. There are lessons we all continue to learn when it comes to spending, saving, and financing our dreams. Truth be told, she doesn’t owe him another thing, as she’s already done enough. He’s 22. And parents honestly don’t owe grown children anything. How will you make it in the world without that parent? Aside from waiting for a piece of an inheritance that could later be squandered?
In parenthood, we’re all learning as we go. When you’re blessed with the ability to provide, of course, you want your child to have more than you did. But in doing so, we have to be careful not to raise children who expect more and more while valuing less and less what they already have.
As a mom to a five-year-old who regularly leaves behind or loses things I’ve worked hard to buy for him, this is a constant lesson for me. I’ve learned that sometimes I have to take away what he does indeed value in order to teach him to take better care of what he has.
In the same way, Simone felt the need to take off her cape and remove that safety net so her son could truly understand and appreciate the value of money. In that moment, what she needed was understanding. What she needed was support.
Michael didn’t need more support—he’s already had plenty of it. And that’s precisely the problem.