Stop watching me so closely.
OhmyGod. (I’m nervous.) Ooooh my God. (I’m excited!) Oh. My. God. (I’m stunned.) Oh my GOD. (I’m annoyed.)
Clearly, I’m important because my fabulousness has garnered quite a social media following. Catch up.
I’m under the impression that being homeschooled means laying around watching reruns of “Ridiculousness” and texting friends who have the misfortune of actually being in a school building.
You’re talking too much. Your outfit is too much. Whatever you’re doing, your attempt is excessive and unsuccessful.
Chemistry homework is a form of torture, I don’t feel doing it and the only power I have against it is to question its worth in my future.
I, as a human being, am so dramatically different, so uniquely complex from anyone who has ever been a teenager, I am beyond comprehension. I’m almost mystical.
What you are saying is so golden that everyone in the room needs to hear it.
I’m done with the conversation and don’t wish to continue addressing the matter at hand.
I like it! I enthusiastically affirm it.
I’m impressed by her hair, makeup and outfit. She looks great.
I’m not doing well in a class and I feel better about it when I blame the person who teaches it.
I’ll wait until the far ends of time to get to it and when you remind me, I’ll get huffy and accuse you of nagging me.
No seriously. Can you buy me a new phone tomorrow?
I’m nowhere near being home.
I’m making all kinds of sarcastic comments in my head that would get me roundhoused in real life, so rather than blurt out what I know would lead to swift and epic disaster and an installment plan of punishment, I’ll render an expressionless glare as my weapon.
I don’t agree with the decisions you’re making on my behalf, so even though I’m claiming to be mature, I will whine and sulk like a kid.
No offense, Mommy, but I’m sure my dating life is going to turn out way better than yours.
I’m under the impression that legally becoming an adult will be an instant celebration of independence and liberation. In short, I’m setting myself for a rude awakening.