With Love Island USA Season 7 wrapped, the Tea app buzzing, and cuffing season around the corner, love is top of mind, and relationship talk is taking over social media. Reality TV fuels the fire, sparking debates with its wild moments, surprise couplings, and the lingering question: Can these relationships really last?
But while it’s entertaining to watch others fall in and out of love on screen, real-life relationships remain a mystery for many. You’re not just looking for your ideal partner. You’re wondering how to attract a healthy, lasting relationship that can weather life’s challenges. You want someone who’ll build an empire with you and face it all as a team. And you don’t want it to take so long to find a good match.
That’s where Netflix and Fox Soul star, Magnetic Matchmaker, and relationship expert Spicy Mari comes in. As the founder and CEO of The Spicy Life, she’s made it her mission to help people find lasting love. Mari is the relationship expert on Netflix’s Sneaky Links, a regular on Fox Soul’s Late Night Love, and the host of The Spicy Life podcast. She’s also appeared on MTV’s The Love Experiment and Paramount+’s Love Allways, coaching both celebrities and everyday singles.
Here, Spicy Mari shares her proven strategies for attracting a healthy, lasting relationship in record time—90 days or less. She says the fast track to love within 90 days can be accomplished through her S.P.I.C.Y. fundamentals method: Self, Passion, Intimacy, Communication, and saying Yes — it empowers singles and couples to build deep, lasting connections.
Get to Know Yourself Better
“The way that I coach is based on my S.P.I.C.Y. methodology—the fundamental ingredients you need for a healthy relationship,” Mari says. “It begins with self. Who are you? What do you want? What do you have to offer? How do you show up in the world, and how does your self-love show up? But also, what’s your value system?”
In other words, having a strong relationship with yourself, understanding your self-worth, and incorporating self-care into your routine will draw others to you. Confidence is sexy.
Passion Attracts Passion
Energy is a nonverbal form of communication that often speaks volumes before you even open your mouth. Mari says passion, a form of energy, is needed to attract love within 90 days. Your future partner will want to feel your zest for life.
“After self, we go into passion—how do you create passion in your life? If you’re someone who doesn’t have any hobbies, nothing that makes you interesting, nothing that expands you, then you’re not going to be a passionate person; therefore, not evoking passion out of others,” she says.
Understand Intimacy
Spicy Mari says intimacy helps you create a lasting connection with the partner you attract.
“How do you create not just vulnerability from somebody else, but how do you give it? How do you pivot between your masculine and feminine energy, moving from discipline and being a driver to flexibility, ease, and love? That can be a pivot that’s very hard for some women and men when it comes to communication or even how they show up,” she shares.
You also have to deliver information in a way that unlocks vulnerability—communication matters.
Learn Communication Styles
Speaking of communication, the data tells us that when it’s poor, that is a leading factor in relationship dissatisfaction and even divorce.
“It’s important to understand what it takes to listen. Who’s your core audience? What I mean by that is, what type of partner are you going after? And how do they need to be spoken to? What is the body language that you give—what are the signals that you give that establish intimacy with you emotionally and show that you’re a safe space?” Mari asks.
That said, conflict management is key. How do you repair communication when there’s contention? Learning each other’s communication style to resolve issues faster creates lasting love.
Embrace Love
The last part of the S.P.I.C.Y. method is learning to say yes. It’s about acknowledging the fears holding you back from attracting love and then saying yes to what’s good for you.
“You will need to be fearless and put yourself out there and explore,” she says. “You’ll need to be going out on dates. I recommend doing one thing a day to pour into your love cup, and then one thing a day to pour into relationships or dating.”
She suggests incorporating self-love, affirmations, journaling, and meditation into your “yes” routine.
“You’re doing one thing a day for yourself, so that your love cup is full, and then you’re doing an additional one thing a day for you to attract a partner. It can be as simple as a hello, paying them a compliment, or sending a flattering text. You need to be connecting with yes energy every single day,” Mari adds.
The expert’s message is that you deserve love—the movie-worthy, spicy romance novel-type of partnership that gives you butterflies. Her message is that you can have it if you’re willing to put in the work, both internally and externally.