Summer 2025 has officially kicked off, and for some, the good times have begun to roll in. Warm-weather traditions, such as picnics, Kool-Aid-filled backyard barbecues, road trips, and family vacations, are in full swing. Since the sun has a way of lifting your mood and replenishing your social battery, it’s easy to find yourself everywhere, all the time.
Summer also brings shifts in schedules, routines, and caregiving responsibilities for parents, which can lead to poor boundaries. There’s no better time than now to proactively think about boundaries you want to implement to ensure summer is more enjoyable than draining.
Why Are Summer Boundaries Necessary?
When boundaries become too lax, our health often suffers—something Black women, in particular, can’t afford. Poor boundaries can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression. According to the Black Women’s Health Imperative IndexUS Report, Black women’s cortisol levels—a hormone closely related to stress—are significantly higher than those of white women. This can accelerate aging and increase the risk for diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and some cancers.
To ensure you’re enjoying the summer while keeping your health in check, here are some boundaries to set with yourself and others with insight from experts Dr. Ayanna Abrams, licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Ascension Behavioral Health, and Nakesha Powell, MPA and senior director of sexual, reproductive, and maternal Health at BWHI.
Say No To Over-Scheduling
It’s a common knee-jerk reaction to say yes to an outing, trip, or activity when you’re in a good mood. However, over-scheduling activities can lead to physical and financial burnout. A boundary you can set with yourself this summer is not overscheduling activities by planning ahead.
“I think what can really help with that is being able to have some kind of semi-structure for yourself in advance,” says Abrams, licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Ascension Behavioral Health. “So that means opening up your calendar and saying, ‘hey, I’m gonna do three to four social things this month,’ and then you get to stick to that kind of boundary and limit for yourself.”
Abrams also suggests making a list of people you want to see during the summer and then scheduling time with them in your calendar. Another helpful tip is to pause before saying yes to an invite–you can let loved ones know you’ll get back to them with an answer within a few days. This gives you time to figure out whether it’s something you can truly commit to.
This boundary can also extend to parents with kids—your child doesn’t have to attend every camp, class, trip, and party. There’s joy in the mundane, and it’s an opportunity to teach them the importance of rest.
Say No To Ignoring Your Body’s Cues
Black women are often conditioned to prioritize others’ needs over their own, and this tendency may intensify during the summertime demands. That said, it’s essential to be aware of when you’re reaching your limit and to pay attention to any cues your body is sending. There are often telltale signs that we ignore before reaching burnout, such as fatigue, detachment, dips in productivity, or irritability. These signs manifest differently for everyone, but notice how they appear for you. Instead of ignoring the signs and powering through, consider how you can adjust your schedule during the summer to accommodate what your mind and body need. Be flexible enough to adjust your schedule or routine to accommodate your health, as your well-being should take priority.
Say No To Plans You Don’t Have The Capacity For
Many of us are still developing our ability to say no. Summertime is an ideal time to practice setting boundaries around your time and energy. It’s ok to turn down an invite or even cancel plans if you’re no longer feeling up to it. You should never become a prisoner to things you say yes to – remember, it’s okay to change your mind.
“Saying no and canceling plans can trigger feelings of guilt, but those aren’t feelings that you have to avoid,” says Powell.
“Oftentimes we are trying to avoid feeling guilty versus allowing ourselves to build up the tolerance for the distress of feeling guilty,” says Dr. Ayana. “And oftentimes it’s not actually guilt, it’s you doing something new, and then you’re inserting a level of over-responsibility for how other people feel about it.”
Powell provides a script you can share with loved ones when you change your mind and need to cancel plans. For instance, you could say:
‘Hey, I know that I signed up for this. That was my extrovert who signed up for this. And what’s happening today is that I don’t feel as up to it.’ You can also offer up an alternative date to meet up so your loved one knows you’re interested in spending time with them.
The goal is to be honest about your capacity and vulnerable enough to communicate any shifts in how you’re feeling. Powell also says doing so gives you the chance to see how flexible people in your life are.
Say No To Over-Explaining
Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, especially when we are preoccupied with managing other people’s feelings. To make the person on the other side of the boundary feel better, we sometimes over-explain our ‘no’. At times, over-explaining is a trauma response, and in other instances, it may be an attempt at controlling the feelings of the person receiving the boundary.
“Oftentimes it is a way to try to control somebody else’s emotions, though, and their feelings about you versus allowing people to feel how they are going to feel,” says Powell. “It’s not your responsibilit,y and it’s actually not really appropriate for you to try to control someone else’s feelings.”
Instead, focus on how you feel and consider sticking to a script if you’re prone to over-explaining. State your capacity or what you’re willing to do without feeling the need to go into details about why. Also, remember you can still be kind and firm without over-explaining.
Say No To Overspending
Overspending during the summer is a thing–it’s so easy for bottomless brunches, concerts, festivals, trips to amusement parks, and family outings to hijack your budget. However, finances can impact your well-being, so tracking your spending is important. Review your income and expenses, and set a limit on what you’re going to spend on a weekly or monthly basis. For instance, knowing that you can only afford to spend $400 a week on leisure activities can help you quickly decide whether you can honor an invitation or not.
Summer doesn’t last forever—fall is inevitable, and so are the bills that come with that season. Planning ahead can help minimize financial stress and prevent damage control once the summer is over.