We are all traveling somewhere in life, but the question is: Are you in the driver’s seat or just a passenger?
In a recent bonus episode of ESSENCE’s Yes, Girl! podcast, ESSENCE’s former Senior Editor, Charreah K. Jackson joined host Yolanda Sangweni to give Black women tips on how they can jumpstart their dreams.
If you want to lead a successful and fulfilling life and you need to stop being a passenger and be the driver. Jackson says, “I think especially as women, especially for Black women, we have to be unapologetic in going for ours. Because we know the world we live in, and so often for a lot of us, we’re carrying generational baggage.”
Drivers will take their life in their own hands by choosing to pursue their dreams and goals, whereas the passenger sees obstacles as a dead end or roadblock to their dream. That’s not the mindset you have to have to get what you want out of life however — in your career, or even your relationships. Says the Boss Bride author Jackson, “I just knew what I desired. [And it wasn’t even about him.]”
She continues, “I just gave myself permission to say, “What is the vision you have for your relationship? What is the vision you have in your life?” And so when you write what it is you desire without policing yourself, you get clear. And does what I have match what I desire? And if it doesn’t, then you have to either choose to settle for less than what you desire, or you make a conscious choice to create space in your life to have what it is you desire.”
As we grow, evolve and awaken to the reality of making these conscious choices, we have to learn that it is in our best interests to uninstall some of this programming and take back control of our minds — which quite frankly for Black women, takes a lot of uninstalling.
“We’re the providers, Sangweni chimed in when reflecting on the role of Black women in society. “We’re somebody’s mama, somebody’s wife, somebody’s sister, you know, and we’re taking care of everyone. But we need to give ourselves the permission to say, “You know what — this is what I need.”
But for Jackson? “It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was one of the best gifts I gave myself, she concluded”
As 2019 rolls along, and you are constantly tired of feeling like everything happens to you instead of for you, then it’s time to step up and become the driver of your own destiny.