Why is her hair growing so fast? Is her texture prettier than mine? Why can’t my hair be gorgeous even in the transition stage? These answers have one simple answer: You aren’t her! You don’t have her parents which means you come from a completely different gene pool. It’s a quick answer that’s easy to understand, but still a hard pill to swallow.

Throughout my hair journey—especially during my transition—I’ve learned that the worst thing you can do is compare your hair to someone else’s. I’ve heard, “I wish I had her hair” countless times and when these women are serious it makes me cringe. It’s sad to hear a chica desiring something that she will never have.

When you wish for someone else’s hair, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s important to focus on loving whatever is under the relaxer regardless of the texture. I know this is easier said than done but honestly, prayer works. Seriously. Some of you are thinking is it that deep? Truthfully, it is.

The disdain for “nappy” hair runs deep in our community, and it’s hard for it to be accepted. I remember during my transition, I prayed that I would accept my natural hair. In my mind, it was going to be the most unruly, tangled, kinky mess that man has ever seen! I constantly requested, “Lawd, please help me love it no matter how it looks.” And he did.

As you transition, focus on loving and embracing your hair. It’s designed for you. What’s there to compare?

Chime Edwards is an extremely popular YouTube vlogger with over 145,000 subscribers. Chime was also featured in Nikki Walton’s (Curly Nikki) book, ‘Better Than Good Hair.’